One doesn’t discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
—Andre Gide
Whenever we’re in the midst of transformation, we can expect to be uncertain. We are leaving behind the old and preparing for the new. This blog post, an excerpt from my book, Professional Destiny, is the next installment of last week’s discussion about Moving Through the Void.
“Get comfortable with uncertainty—it’s the time of our greatest opportunity. A time when all possibilities are open to us. If we hold our vision and resolve to take a step toward it each day, we can be assured that great uncertainty only lasts for a while. This too shall pass.
Oftentimes even when we start our journey, our fear of failing returns and our hope of finding our purpose fades. We have no proof that things will turn out the way we want so we are hesitant, or even unwilling, to take the risk. Sometimes it takes a great deal of pain to get us motivated. Our fearful beliefs immobilize us and slowly but surely kill our spirit. We can feel ourselves being drawn back to the comfort of familiar territory—even though we haven’t been happy there for a long time. We become more anxious and wonder if we are crazy for wanting to do this.
Sometimes fear can be good. It can motivate us into action, especially if we fear our situation will get worse if we don’t act now. But it is not good when it paralyzes us from moving forward. This is the point when we look into the unknown, feel our fear, take a deep breath and step forward anyway. Do it even if you’re scared.
If you are willing to do the thing you are afraid to do, you often do not have to. Face the situation fearlessly and watch it dissipate.
Most things we worry about never actually happen. So worrying is an unproductive emotion that drains our energy and creative forces. Sometimes we just need to find humor in our fears.
The longer we stay in an unfulfilling and unchallenging situation, the more resigned we become—and the more we risk losing our individuality, unique gifts and edge.”
It’s essential to catch ourselves when we feel the urge to stay complacent. While change can involve letting go of things that are familiar, the cost of settling in an unfulfilling situation may greater than we originally think. So, while uncertainty might not feel good at the moment—get comfortable—it can open our eyes to things we wouldn’t normally see and may turn out to be a blessing in disguise.
The void is a place you go into when you’re “in between.” It could be you’re in between jobs, in between relationships or you’ve just had a child leave home and you’re wondering what to do next. It’s a state of being when you let go of old things and prepare to move into the next level of growth. In the void you leave behind familiar patterns, habits, thoughts and actions. Think of a butterfly in a cocoon. The cocoon is the void. Just as a caterpillar enters the cocoon to be transformed into a butterfly, you go into a void to prepare yourself for your next level of transformation. You are preparing to fly high.
The void is a time when you’re shedding something that no longer fits the person you are becoming. It can be quite uncomfortable unless you learn to accept it as a natural and essential state. It’s a time of transition and may feel like all of your foundations are falling away, leaving you nothing solid to cling to. In other words, you know what the “no” is (what you’re leaving), but you don’t yet know what the “yes” is (what you’re moving to). The tough part is that the new is not quite here, but the old has not completely left.
This place of uncertainty, of not knowing—can be disconcerting, especially for those of us who like to plot and plan our life. It may feel like a time of not-doing or emptiness. Yet, it is meant to be a time to stop knowing in your usual way, so that you can begin to learn things in a new way. You may even feel that things are falling apart or that things that used to come easy to you, are no longer working. This is because you are meant to move on.
The void is a time when you:
are expanding beyond your old habits and patterns
learn to think in new ways
replace things that are no longer working for you, with things that do
The following is an analogy I shared in my book, Professional Destiny…
“Imagine Tarzan swinging from vine to vine in the jungle. He can’t move forward on a new vine, without letting go of the vine he was on. If he holds on to the old vine and doesn’t grab the new one, he’ll go backward. If he tries to hold both vines, he’ll get stuck. He must let go of the old vine and grab the new one to ride forward to his destination.”
The void is that exact moment when you let go of the old vine and reach out to grab the new. You leave a place of security to venture into the unknown. The secret is to embrace this transitional time. It’s an opportunity to rest up, recharge and explore an expanded range of choices. Don’t worry if the new direction hasn’t quite shown up yet. Your job is to be open to all of the new possibilities so that you can recognize the best one ahead of you.
Our time in the void can last for hours, days, months or even years. Since all people go into a void at some point in their lives, and many of us experience it multiple times, how do we make the best of our experience there? Enjoy it! Just like the cocoon is to the butterfly, the void is a natural and essential state for your transition. It’s necessary to experience it to shake up your familiar structure in order to free you to think and act differently. You’ll move through it faster if you don’t resist. Rather than focusing on how uncomfortable you are, accept the unfamiliar and focus on the new opportunities that are open to you. You may not see the end-game at this point, but take the first step and the next steps will come. When you reach the turning point, circumstances will start appearing that are better and more satisfying than what you experienced in the past.
If all else fails, change your vocabulary. Instead of thinking of this time as a “void,” think of it as a “vacation.” You might as well enjoy it, because—like it or not—you’re going to be in it! Embrace it as your time to leave behind the old, prepare for the possibilities ahead of you and emerge fully ready to experience the new.
People with high levels of mastery…
cannot afford to choose between reason and intuition,
or head and heart, any more than they would choose
to walk on one leg or see with one eye.
—Peter Senge
When it comes to pursuing our Professional Destiny, many of us learn at a young age to tune out our intuition and choose the safe and secure route. In other words, we make a decision from the head, not the heart. But, does this path ultimately bring us success and fulfillment? Chances are—an overwhelming “no!” A choice made purely from the head is a choice that saps our creativity and motivation. We operate on autopilot and are simply not our best. On the other hand, a choice made from both the head AND heart is a choice that inspires and energizes us—and leads us to great breakthroughs. The following is an excerpt from Professional Destiny about the struggle between head vs. heart and the ultimate power of combining the two:
“The duel between reason and intuition, or head and heart, is a constant and powerful force in our lives.
Head—also known as our mind. It is the home of our rational thought and logic. Our drive for survival.
Heart—also known as the soul, spirit or essence. It is the home of our intuition (some also call it our “gut”). It is the home of our higher self and represents who we really are at the core.
HEAD VS. HEART
Head
Heart
Voice of reason
Rationality
Logic
Survival
Experience
Persona/Personality
Achieving stature and safety in life serves to satisfy and comfort the mind. At some point, if we are committed to a path of purpose, we will experience an insurgency of the soul—an insistent demand that we live more consciously and meaningfully. Our job is to stay focused on this deeper message, so that we can call it forth reliably and use its guidance to steer ourselves in a more satisfying direction.
The moment we stop learning is the moment we begin to stagnate. We go to sleep and our life becomes empty with an unsettling combination of anxiety and boredom.
Once you start on your journey and follow your deepest yearning, you won’t be able to turn back and keep it quiet. Human beings are born learning and growing. Even if you keep yourself so busy and pretend not to hear it, you will feel a deep sense of dissatisfaction and experience disenchantment with your life. Your inner voice will always be there, even if buried, waiting for you to listen.”
We are given the gifts of rationality (head) and intuition (heart). The former helps us with survival in the physical world we live in, the latter allows us to have breakthroughs that are genuine, unique and fresh. In terms of discovering your Professional Destiny, finding harmony in the combination of head and heart is the most powerful mix.
The first step toward making a change in your life, or achieving anything truly important to you, is setting a vision. That means getting crystal clear on what you want. A strong vision motivates you to move forward toward your destination, even when you don’t quite know how to get there. And, it keeps you from bailing on your dream the moment things get tough. The following is an excerpt from Professional Destiny about how to set a vision…
“All greatness starts with a vision. You have to see your end game in order to get there. A strong vision is the building block for everything, and without it we can’t possibly achieve mastery in our talent or profession.
Have you ever heard of an Olympian who didn’t first dream of going to the Olympics?
Here’s why we need a vision:
Having a strong vision inspires and guides us to where we want to be, and helps us make decisions. If you clearly set a vision, you won’t be distracted and you won’t wander aimlessly. If you get off track temporarily, it will be easier to remember your vision and get back on your path.
A clear vision and sense of purpose motivates you. There is no other way to generate the tireless source of energy that you’ll need to accomplish your task. And you will need a tireless source—because embarking on your journey is a challenging task. It is a perilous journey where you encounter a series of tests, trials and setbacks. Difficulties and barriers are guaranteed to pop up along the way. There is no free lunch when you are pursuing your dream. And the bigger your dream, the bigger the challenges you can expect. However, if your vision is strong enough, you will view barriers as something to cross over, not as something that blocks your way. You see the end state and you have the motivation to pick yourself up after a setback in order to get there. Without a vision, you’ll most likely stop.
What makes a vision strong? A great vision is a clear statement of your purpose. It is:
Memorable
Concise
Aspirational
Simple
Easily repeatable
Relevant
Something you honestly believe
A strong vision is something you can remember in a moment’s notice; it is an image you can call up on demand. It is a declaration of what you want to accomplish. It represents your deepest, most authentic goals and interests.
Most of all, a great vision is a vivid description of your desired end state. It creates a picture in your mind of the future you want.”
One of my greatest joys is to meet people who are wholeheartedly embarking on their Professional Destiny—and Noi Wegiel is clearly one of them! Noi is the creator of exquisitely hand-crafted, Austin-made natural chocolate treats & delights. Each and every piece of her decadent chocolate is truly a work-of-art, with a pairing of flavors that is unforgettably delightful. She uses the finest ingredients mother nature has to offer and many of her products are organic, raw, sugar-free and gluten-free (although for the hard-core sugar enthusiasts, some are still sinful!). In addition, she holds a commitment to using ingredients from sustainable suppliers, and supports organic and natural living. Truly this is a case where you need to taste to fully experience her chocolate magic, but it’s fascinating and inspiring to hear Noi’s Professional Destiny story until that wonderful moment:
“I’m from Thailand, and I moved to the United States when I was 17. When I arrived here, I didn’t know how to cook at all. Because I didn’t speak English very well, the only job I could get was in the kitchen at a cafeteria-type restaurant. They put me in the pastry department and I learned—on the job—how to bake. Soon, I got interested in cakes. Every time I made a cake in the restaurant, I thought to myself, ‘this could be prettier.’ To learn more, I bought a book on sale about cake decorating. I was fascinated by learning the technique, but the book was from England and they used fondant (sugar paste) to cover the cake to make it smooth and beautiful. I couldn’t immediately find anyone here to teach me how to use fondant (I learn best by watching), but after a few years, I found someone to teach me how to professionally cover the cake and make the gorgeous, life-like flowers. After that, things seemed to take off. I believe that once the student’s ready, the teachers show up. I was so hungry (no pun intended) to learn more! I started finding tons of teachers who taught me how to decorate cakes, and within three years I became the teacher.
A number of years ago I had another turning point. I needed surgery and had to stay in bed for six weeks. Because I was bedridden, I couldn’t do anything but watch TV and read books. I read a book that changed my life—it was called “Sugar Blues.” It talked about how sugar affects people and is the cause of several medical problems. It was then that I started looking for classes to teach the healthy version of making beautiful desserts—and I become the student once again.
I studied conscious eating and built an awareness of using quality ingredients in the foods I prepare. I started checking labels and using organic and local sustainable ingredients whenever possible. The struggle I faced was that I had perfected the art of making pastries with traditional ingredients such as eggs, butter, milk, sugar, etc., but I still needed some work on how to make the new, healthy way taste even better. Not to mention that my friends and family thought it was weird to make desserts this way and didn’t really understand my quest!
I overcame the taste challenge by experimenting. I don’t tend to follow rules and this gives me creative power. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. When it works, I duplicate it. I record all of my successes and they become my recipes. Now all my chocolates are made with organic ingredients and most have delicious natural sweeteners such as agave and maple syrup.
My passion started with baking and pastry, then it changed to cake decorating, then food carvings and then chocolate. I’ve always believed that God wanted us to do whatever our passion is. We all have a unique ability and now my passion is chocolate and raw food. I love to eat good chocolate. I love creating it and discovering the way ingredients combine together to make something delicious, beautiful and tasty. My joy comes from seeing people light up when they eat something I create and when they ask, “how did you do that?!” Most of all, I know it’s healthier than what they can typically buy in the stores.
Most people do meditation while sitting and quieting their mind, I do mine in the kitchen. I tune into whatever I’m doing—preparing food, making cakes and pastries, and especially chocolate!
My advice to others is that it doesn’t matter what you do, just do it. You have to believe and do it with your heart. For each person it’s different—be responsible, but do what moves you. If you think something is your passion, go with it. If it works out, that’s great; if not, make a change and try again. Do what you love and savor life’s sweet moments.”
A sampling of Noi’s “heavenly bites” will to be available at my book signing tonight at BookPeople. Come and experience the bliss for yourself.
This is the story of Marcie Finney—a former ad designer turned entrepreneur of Seeds for Goodness, a fast-growing, eco-fashion brand that creates stylish, earth-friendly jewelry and adornments. It’s an inspiring Professional Destiny story of her choice to thrive, and make a difference.
“My entrepreneurial spirit started eight years ago. I had been working in an advertising agency, but knew it was time for me to go out on my own as a freelance designer. I loved my client interactions and wasn’t getting enough if it in the agency, so I struck out on my own. I do love design and it’s a gift. In particular, I love seeing an idea come to life. Yet, I always knew I’d do some-thing else, but I didn’t quite know what.
A clue was that when I was young, my friend and I teamed up in school and made necklaces. I even sold enough pieces to buy a pair of rollerblades! I always loved to make my own funky pieces, but that’s as far as it went.
Over and over again, people told me that they loved my usage of color. All of my work is colorful. In fact, if you don’t like color, you’re not going to come to me. I like vibrancy! My gift in the design sense is that I’m meant to bring color into whatever form I create.
Every year I take a trip to reflect. It’s a quiet time for me to ask myself: ‘What do I want? Where am I going?’ It’s necessary for me to pause and just get quiet. I went to Cabo and during that time, felt my life was going to shift. I knew it, but didn’t know what it was shifting to.
Unlike most people, I always wear my jewelry when I practice yoga. After Cabo, for two months straight, people would comment on a piece I was wearing. It was every day, everywhere I went—at yoga, at grocery stores, you name it. They’d say: ‘can I buy your jewelry online? Will you sell me the piece you’re wearing?’ I asked myself – ‘do I need to do anything with this?’
A month later my friend Tony called me and asked me what I was doing besides design. He told me ‘you need to pursue it, it’ll be huge… bigger than you think.’
Some of the best things come when you least expect it. I was going about my day and I suddenly got an intuitive message loud and clear. It was ‘you need to work with seeds.’ I didn’t really know what it meant, but I started to do research about seeds and I was blown away. The colors, the texture were unbelievable – and so me! The trumpets started playing!
I said ‘I’ll do it’ and the universal doors flew open. It’s been a little over a year journey now. Aveda became interested in my line and has become a large client. There are several retail locations where my jewelry is placed in Austin, and it’s expanding into Dallas. I can see the momentum – everything I stock in a store will sell out. I feel like it has a life of its own, and it’s a lot of work, but totally fulfilling.
Most exciting is that the name for my line literally came to me—“Seeds for Goodness.” I chose that name because in this world, we can get hardened—we may not recognize the goodness in our lives. I wanted to remind people. All good things start from something small and it was perfect that I was working with seeds. You have to nurture them; you have to let them grow. You can’t just walk away. You need to expect the goodness that lies inherent in the seed to grow. This is a greater symbol of who we are. We all are these amazing seeds that have so much potential within us, and we need to nurture that potential. For example, if we’re doing something we don’t really love—if we’re doing something just to exist—we’re not to thriving. Seeds are meant to thrive. So are we.”
I just saw the movie Julie and Julia with Meryl Streep, who plays the famed chef Julia Child, and Amy Adams, who portrays the present-day author, Julie Powell. It’s a captivating movie in its own right, but it’s particularly appropriate for this discussion — because it’s the story of two people and their intersecting paths to careers they love.
The movie begins when Julia’s husband is stationed in Paris right after World War II. Julia, who moves with him, decides she must find something challenging to fill her days. When asked what she enjoys doing the most, she replies with a laugh, “I love to EAT!” What do you do with that?! Scene after scene she’s shown savoring French food and soon she enrolls in a prestigious French culinary school and learns to master French cooking. Her vision is to make gourmet French food accessible to Americans—and enjoy it all along the way!
This soon leads Julia to publish her cookbook, “Mastering The Art of French Cooking,” and star in the “French Chef” series on American Public Television. The rest is history!
Then, comes the story of Julie Powell… in 2002, she is a New York office worker frustrated by her job. Her dream is to become an author, but after an unsuccessful attempt at submitting her manuscript for publishing, she settles for an office job instead. Julie complains to her husband that she’s never successfully finished anything and has a mini-meltdown. They come up with a plan to give her something to look forward to, by combining one thing she loves—cooking—with the other thing she loves—writing. This gives her something to look forward to after day-after-day in the grind. Knowing that she wouldn’t finish without a deadline, Julie challenges herself to cook her way through all of the 524 recipes in Julia Child’s cookbook—within 365 days—and blog about it.
Julie’s blog started in a humble way—with no readers except, of course, her mother. Within the allotted year though, she picked up more and more readers and finally the attention of the NY Times. This led to offers to publish her book, and this very movie that is now in theatres.
The Julie/Julia story is a perfect example of self-awareness, conviction and following your bliss. For both women, their choices became life-changing experiences. Starting from humble beginnings, they each translated their passion for food into professions that brought them great joy… and success. Each chose to do what they loved. And, each ultimately ended up living their Professional Destiny.
Ever knew what you loved to do as a child, but then lost track of it as an adult? Here’s a story of rediscovery. It’s a reminder that sometimes finding your professional passion may simply be a matter of remembering what you love and taking the leap of faith to do it. Today’s entry is the compelling story of Shelley Seale, one of the first nominations submitted as a Professional Destiny “Hero.” It’s a story of her journey from childhood writer, to real estate broker, and back to writer—as a successfully published author.
“I started my career in real estate, although I definitely had a passion for writing long before that. Because I was the first child for my parents and grandparents, everyone read to me. I loved hearing the words and stories. My earliest memory of writing was around age eight when I wrote dorky little books and published them. It was my hobby. My great grandmother lived in a nursing home and I would go to there and hear the most amazing stories. For example, one woman, probably in her eighties, had been a prima ballerina in the Moscow ballet. She told me about her fascinating life, and others would as well. I wrote each person’s story on a pad of paper, then would illustrate and bind it, and bring my newly published “book” to my new friend in the nursing home.
All this time, it never occurred to me that writing was a practical choice for a career. I couldn’t see myself making a living as a writer, so I never really considered it.
When I was in college, I started working in a real estate firm. One of the positions I wanted required me to have a real estate license, so I got one. I then launched into a career I would have for the next 15 years without a whole lot of thought. Looking back I would say that real estate chose me as a profession… I didn’t really choose it. I was making pretty decent money so I stayed in it.
I started writing articles about buying and selling homes for real-estate journals. People began to contact me and ask to re-use what I had written. For example, I wrote an article about how to ease the trauma for children in a move, and a mental-health-related website contacted me wanting to license the article for their publication. It was validating for me and it reawakened my love for writing.
It got so that I would rather write articles about real estate than actually show houses! When I started realizing that I enjoyed writing more than managing my business, I began to ask myself, “Why should I spend hours of my time doing what I’m not passionate about when I could do I AM passionate about?”
Writing was what inspired me, the other was just work… I considered it a chore. I knew I not only could write, but that I should. Otherwise it would be another 40 years of doing something I didn’t love. There are people out there who spend 40 or 50 years doing jobs they hate—I didn’t want to be one of them.
So I ramped up and began actively contacting publications. I first wrote about real estate because that’s what I knew, then started branching out. Soon I was writing about other topics such as owning a business, small business management and entrepreneurship—which were also things I knew. Then I expanded to write about other industries—technology, healthcare, travel, education. Over a period of several years I phased-in writing and phased-out real estate, until I finally flip-flopped careers. It took about five years.
I got involved with non-profits and wrote an article about Caroline Boudreaux for Austin Women’s magazine. This led me to India where the idea for my recent book, TheWeight of Silence, was born.
What were the obstacles I faced? I could make twice as much money in real estate as I do now, but I would be doing something I only tolerated, not what I loved. To me it’s worth it.
The benefit I’ve realized is even greater. I’m no longer compartmentalizing my life. Before it felt like the work I did was partitioned from who I was as a person. For so many people it’s: here’s your job, here’s your family time, here’s your hobby – they are compartmentalized as if they have no relation to each other. Now my life is integrated. My work doesn’t feel like work, because it’s part of who I am, not simply what I do. I have more of a focus on things that matter.
My advice to others wanting to make this change is to stay dedicated and persevere. It doesn’t happen overnight. It takes a commitment to pursue your passion. At times it would have been a lot easier to stay in real estate but I wouldn’t have been as happy.”
Have your own story of a career change that tapped into your gifts and allowed you to do what you love? Send in a comment and share your experience with others.
A friend just sent me a link to the trailer for Lemonade, an upcoming movie that takes a look at what happens when people who got paid to be creative in advertising lose their jobs and then became creative in their own lives. It’s just too perfect!
Coming from the advertising industry myself, I know several people (no, I won’t name any names!) who would insist that this movie was made specifically for them. They didn’t want to lose their jobs—and went through all of the nerve-wracking anxiety the movie depicts—but then had one of those “that was the best thing that ever happened to me” moments. They soon realize it’s a blessing in disguise and move on to something that taps into their truest potential—whatever that may be (artist, yoga instructor, nude copywriter, you name it). Soon they’re doing something that fires them up, more accurately expresses who they are and is integrated in their lives. They’re happier than before. As one of the characters says in his final comments: “I got laid off and I’m finally doing something that I think matters.”
The opportunity to follow your Professional Destiny can initially seem like you’ve just been tossed a big, sour lemon. But go out there, like these people, and make some sweet lemonade out of it!
Most corporations don’t practice the principles of Professional Destiny. That is, they don’t actively seek out the gifts of their employees and adjust their responsibilities to ensure that they thrive. The focus needs to be on maximizing people’s strengths, not spending the majority of time developing an individual’s weaknesses. As I wrote in Professional Destiny, a person’s gift may be “spiky.” Meaning they are incredibly good at one, two or three things as opposed to being well-rounded in many things. Weaknesses should be acknowledged and developed just enough so that they don’t hold a person back or get in the way of progress. But beyond that, there is a diminishing rate of return on the effort spent in trying to strengthen them. The focus on improving weaknesses should only be “to keep you in the game.” The things that an individual and the company are good at, are where to focus. It will pay off in both employee satisfaction and company performance.
It takes a very enlightened leader to pull off a personalized approach within a corporate framework. They must see the gifts of the individuals and match those gifts to a position (that may not quite fall in the standardized “job description”) and within the structure of the organization. It requires the leader to think out of the box, take risks and figure out how to pull it all together. It is in no way a cookie-cutter approach. Most companies stifle this type of flexibility.
As companies grow, they begin to focus on standardization and the force the homogenization of their people. They stifle creative thinking and alienate people from their gifts. As I have found through my years in the corporate world, few people are inspired to do their best work when they are forced into a box. When people are fully engaged and use their natural gifts, they do their best work. And, when people do their best work, companies achieve breakthrough results.
Perhaps we should all remember that homogenization is best for milk, not for people!
Professional Destiny® is about finding the career you were born for. I've created this site to help you in your pursuit. Here, you'll find excerpts from my book, as well as new ideas and stories to help you make the most of your natural gifts. We're a community, so please join the conversation!
One doesn’t discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
People with high levels of mastery…
If you can dream it, you can do it.
This is the story of Marcie Finney—a former ad designer turned entrepreneur of 
I just saw the movie Julie and Julia with Meryl Streep, who plays the famed chef Julia Child, and Amy Adams, who portrays the present-day author, Julie Powell. It’s a captivating movie in its own right, but it’s particularly appropriate for this discussion — because it’s the story of two people and their intersecting paths to careers they love.
Ever knew what you loved to do as a child, but then lost track of it as an adult? Here’s a story of rediscovery. It’s a reminder that sometimes finding your professional passion may simply be a matter of remembering what you love and taking the leap of faith to do it. Today’s entry is the compelling story of Shelley Seale, one of the first nominations submitted as a Professional Destiny “Hero.” It’s a story of her journey from childhood writer, to real estate broker, and back to writer—as a successfully published author.
