Tag: personal growth
The following is an article that I was invited to contribute to More.com about my reinvention from advertising executive into author of Professional Destiny.
Many of us have achieved success but find ourselves yearning for fulfillment. For me, an uncomfortable sense that something was “missing” in my life was a turning point that led me to write a book devoted to the topic of purpose and how it relates to your working life. The following excerpt from Professional Destiny®—Discover the Career You Were Born For, explains how my own personal story of reinvention began…
“I reached a pivotal turning point during my mid-thirties. I remember a distinct moment when I was sitting on the porch at my house in Boulder, Colorado, looking across the street at the stunning Flatiron mountains thinking, “to everyone else I look like I have it all: two beautiful daughters, a good husband, friends, a great career, high income, a wonderful house and excellent health—yet deep down I am completely miserable.”
Something was missing inside.
It was at that time that I began to yearn to move from a life of success to a life of significance.”
This moment on my porch in Boulder began my search for my “professional destiny.” Although I was successful by all outward measures, I couldn’t help but feel that there was something bigger I was meant to do. I had a purpose to fulfill and needed to find it. The search became my mission. It took several years (with a few detours along the way!) for me to transition from a marketing and advertising executive to an author, speaker and coach. But that poignant moment marked the beginning of a wonderful, challenging and fulfilling journey. It was my time of rediscovery and reinvention.
This story was originally published on More.com
I became fascinated by the idea that there’s an “ideal career” for everyone, but only a small percentage of us manage to find it. I came to realize that for many, true fulfillment only comes after some period of disappointment or disenchantment—and I had mine on the porch. I started questioning people to see if I could find any common traits among those who had a real passion for their work and discovered that the most highly motivated and fulfilled were those who were making use of their natural gifts. In effect, they were working in the career they were born for. For these people, work isn’t about money or title. It’s about satisfaction, empowerment, feeling energetic about their work, making an impact, fully exercising a talent and inspiring others.
The journey is not for the faint of heart. It may mean leaving a familiar sense of security and stability. It may mean leaving behind an impressive title or professional identity. Almost always, it means venturing into the unknown. But if your days become routine and you find yourself in a position that saps your spirit, the move to energizing, fulfilling work is well worth it. There is a difference. A job is something we do to earn a living, our “professional destiny” is a mighty undertaking that challenges us, taps into our creative energy and reawakens our spirit. Our passion and creativity are ignited. If we’re not feeling it today, perhaps it’s a call for reinvention!
May 22, 2011
One doesn’t discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
—Andre Gide
Last night I gave a Professional Destiny talk at the Stanford Women’s Group of the East Bay. (Thanks to Christie Jordan for inviting the group to her home and being such a truly phenomenal host!)
When you’re with a group of such talented and astute women you can expect to get some great questions. And I did! One of my favorites was when I was asked about my scariest point of transition from corporate executive to consultant, coach and author.
It brought me back right to the heart of the matter.
My answer was that the first time I made the change was the hardest—by far—because I had no idea what to expect. It’s uncomfortable to step away from the known and into the unknown. It’s like a ship leaving harbor to venture out into the open sea.
So many of us are bound by golden handcuffs that make us feel secure, even if we’re not entirely happy. We don’t know exactly who we will be without our work identity and reputation. We don’t know what our future will look like, and we’re not sure how to proceed. We wonder if we will ever make money again. Or, if we’ll even recognize ourselves when we’re through. It’s a disconcerting journey—and definitely not for the faint of heart.
One of the hardest things to get used to is not knowing how long our term of transition from one point to the next will last. This applies to many life changes including a change in profession. For example, if we’re in the midst of career transition (whether voluntary or involuntary) we often have no idea how long we’ll have to be in this provisional existence. When will we cross the sea, so to speak, and get from here to there?
If we could know we would have a happy ending tomorrow, we would be fine. Yet, there’s no known date for things to get better and we wonder if our current uncertainty will be endless. But it’s all part of the journey. And that brings me to another favorite quote:
“A ship in harbor is safe, but that’s not what ships are built for.”—William Shed
When contemplating change, sometimes we simply have to remember, that just as ships are not built to stay in the harbor, neither are we.
October 21, 2010
Rarely do people say “hey, things are going really well… I think it’s time to change.” Most people don’t change when they are feeling totally comfortable.
We change when we are uncomfortable.
It could be due to disappointment with a current situation; it could be that we feel our talents are not fully expressed or our abilities are not appreciated; or it could be that we have a burning passion to try something new that just won’t let us stay complacent. Whatever it is, change takes commitment and a great deal of discipline. The following is an excerpt from my book, Professional Destiny about how change can require us to stretch ourselves beyond our comfort zone:
“Change is unavoidable. Reluctance to adapt to change will only keep you stuck. Growth demands the willingness to temporarily surrender your immediate sense of security. An unwillingness to sacrifice will hold you back. If you think you can achieve something great without sacrifice, you will stay glued to where you are, because rarely is this the case. To move forward you may have to give up safe but unrewarding work. Stay receptive and be willing to reinvent yourself to take advantage of new possibilities and shed things that are no longer working.
Keep growing, learning and working to improve yourself. Whatever gifts, skills, experience and resources you have, keep improving them. Think about how different our lives would be if we looked at every day as an exciting opportunity to learn, move one step forward and contribute.
In order to grow, we need to stretch ourselves—and it isn’t always comfortable. Expect this; it is part of the process. We need to get out of our comfort zone for extraordinary things to happen. The point is to stretch to where we feel uncomfortable (this means we are charting new territory), but we don’t need to stretch to the point of agony. This would paralyze us and be unproductive. If we are to continue growing, the need to stretch never ends. But if we look back later, we will discover that these times of stretching enabled us to make a change and reach new heights, and we will look back fondly at those times.”
August 18, 2010
One of the greatest ways to tell if you’re aligned with your Professional Destiny is simply to check in and see if your 9-5 day feels like a struggle, or if the time passes by before you know it. When you’re fully engaged in an activity, you enter the flow. You feel strong, alert, effortlessly effective and satisfied. You’re at the peak of your ability and become unaware of time. When you’re not well matched with what you’re doing, it’s the opposite—you’re feeling out of sync, less motivated, less productive, disengaged and more prone to watching the clock. Needless to say, it’s far more satisfying to find a way to be in alignment with your gifts, interests, values and creative abilities in the work environment—especially if you’re like most people and tend to spend so much of your time there.
How to do this? It all starts with awareness. The following is a passage from Professional Destiny that describes in more detail what to look for and what to avoid…
“Notice what you enjoy doing and what you are good at. Make some time to do these things and rekindle your creativity. Concentration, or being in the flow, means total absorption. We can only be masters of something that interests us greatly. Great leaders and great inventors are not bored with their work. If you pay attention, you will notice that you are experiencing moments of joy when you are creating, working and learning. You forget about the world around you and lose track of your surroundings, fully experiencing the joy of what you are doing.
You come into flow in your life when you awaken your sense of destiny. You fall out of flow when you renege on your gifts and potential, or when you ignore your deepest calling and settle for mediocrity. Our tasks cannot be too simple for our abilities or we become bored and less creative. Whether things are “seamlessly clicking” or “rapidly combusting” is a sign of whether you are in or out of step with the flow.”
In other words, when you’re in step—and in your gift—things tend to fall into place. You’re motivated and more effective. What you do is easy for you, although it may be far more difficult for others. When you’re not in your gift things tend to be more of a struggle or even worse, spiral downward.
Simplicity is a sign of being in the flow. Usually if something is simple, elegantly efficient and practically effortless, it is a wonderful indicator that you’re on the right track.
July 14, 2010
What would you do if
you weren’t afraid?
—Spencer Johnson,
Who Moved My Cheese?
In any undertaking of substance, you can’t expect yourself to be fearless—we all have fear. The secret is to be courageous and not let your fear win over. Having courage is not the absence of fear but the drive and the strength to keep going in spite of it. Ultimately, your desire and belief in your vision must be stronger. That’s what you lean on.
The following is an excerpt from Professional Destiny about the difference between faith and fear:
“Fear shows itself all along our journey. The more important our purpose is and the more remarkable we are called to be, the more we can expect to encounter fear. Anyone who is remarkable has overcome great difficulty and fear. If this weren’t the case there would be more remarkable people—those who stand out as truly extraordinary. Most people choose to be ordinary. They play it safe and do just enough to get by.
What separates the extraordinary from the ordinary are those people who choose faith over fear and practice discipline every day in achieving their purpose. Faith, in this sense, means a passionate, unbending belief in your vision. Here are some things to know about faith:
- Faith is believing in success. It’s believing in a friendly creative force bigger than yourself, a force that will help you. Fear is inverted faith—it’s believing in failure.
- Faith looks forward. It’s believing in your vision even when there’s no proof. You may not know all the answers, but you know you will take the next step.
- Faith is the tool to overcome fear. Truly remarkable people call on it every day and guide their lives with it.
- With faith, you don’t get to know how it gets done. You don’t get to know what is going to happen either. “How” or “what” are not the questions—you just need to know that you are going to do it.
- Faith and commitment get you there. If you falter on either, the journey will take longer.
Expect that the process of moving along your path will throw challenges at you. It’s part of the package. It’s the hand you are dealt. When you think of it this way, you won’t get mired in pessimism or misery. Or if you feel it, which is natural, you won’t stay there for long. You know it’s just something you need to get through. And you will.”
June 14, 2010
Last week, in the discussion of Conquering Fear, I briefly introduced the concept of FUD—fear, uncertainty and doubt—and how it can freeze you in your tracks if you’re not careful. This week, as part two of Overcoming Obstacles to Your Professional Destiny, we’ll talk about uncertainty and doubt. They are a bit more insidious, but can be equally paralyzing. FUD is natural whenever you endeavor to do something different—especially when it’s a big step. Yet while it may be natural, it’s not particularly helpful… so let’s expose it here for what it is and weed it out!
The first four letters of the word “doubt” are also the root of the word “double” and it means believing in two things simultaneously. Meaning, you may believe in your success, but you also believe in your failure at the same time. This, in effect, cancels out or lessens your power (depending on the level of doubt). You’re become like a boat tossing in the waves, bobbing back and forth.
If something is not happening in your life that you want (new job, new relationship, success in your business, whatever) check to see how much doubt you are carrying. Then do your best to throw it overboard.
Uncertainty can also be a “success delayer.” It can keep you hemming and hawing—but, on the flip side if managed correctly, it can also open your eyes to new possibility. That is the way to harness it.
The following is some wisdom from Professional Destiny:
“Finding and living our purpose isn’t easy, and sometimes we just don’t want to deal with what is facing us. It seems too big. Or, we believe we will face a hard time in the unknown, so we just tune everything out and hope things will get better. The unknown is uncomfortable and no matter how unfulfilled we are feeling in our current situation, we’d rather stay in a situation we know instead of venture out. There is a great fear in moving from our familiar life, even if it is unsatisfying. We get to the point where we know ‘this is what I am not,’ but we don’t yet know what we ‘are.’ We say to ourselves, ‘This is what I don’t want, but I don’t really know what I do want.’ In other words, we know our current situation isn’t working for us, but we don’t know what our new situation will be or what it will look like. We are ‘in between’ and for most of us it’s a very uncomfortable place to be.”
But there is a completely different way to look at it. When we are uncertain, we are more open. Many possibilities are available to us—and we are more apt to pay attention to the “maybes.” A maybe could be our golden opportunity, but in the past we might have charged along, not even noticing it. Instead, we stayed narrowly focused in our comfort zone and missed the budding possibility.
Uncertainty is actually our time of greatest opportunity. So get comfortable with it and embrace it. If we hold our vision and resolve to take a step toward it each day, we can be assured that great uncertainty only lasts for a while. This too shall pass.
May 19, 2010
Yesterday I was interviewed by David Rawles for the Career Solutions Radio Talk Show. He asked several questions that took me back to the beginning—to the very inception—of Professional Destiny. And since that story hasn’t hit the blog rolls yet, I thought it would be fun to share the Cliffs Notes version here.
About ten years ago, I had a profound moment that changed my life and perspective. I was sitting on the porch at my house in Boulder, Colorado, looking across the street at the stunning Flatiron mountains thinking, “to everyone else I look like I have it all: two beautiful daughters, a good husband, friends, a great career, high income, a wonderful house and excellent health—yet deep down I feel an aching emptiness inside.” I had a nagging feeling that there was something more I was meant to do, but I didn’t know what it was.
For the next several years, I worked in a few notable Fortune 500 companies and was struck by how many people were “asleep” as I walked around. There was no real light in their eyes. So many smart, talented people were merely going through the motions of work each day simply to collect a paycheck. They seemed numbed out. And I was one of them.
So I began my search by reading voraciously, observing others and trying out new things.
Mark Misage - Physics Teacher
Then I met ordinary (yet at the same time extraordinary!) people who were lit up by their profession and who were intent on making a difference. I was fascinated by their stories and decided to learn from them. One was a physics teacher, one was a children’s author/motivational speaker and one was the founder of a global charitable organization. Each experienced a nudge to change, each faced significant challenges, and each chose to follow their dream. Their candid and inspiring first-hand narratives are included in my book.
All of us have something that we were born to do. It’s our Professional Destiny. We have a gift and we have a purpose—and we are meant to express them in a meaningful way. It’s this notion of making a genuine contribution that matches our interests, which differentiates our Professional Destiny from a job. A job is something we do merely to collect a paycheck.
When we feel like we have made a difference, we are fulfilled… and we have the wonderful, energizing feeling that we’re finally doing what we were born to do.
Stay tuned for part two of this interview series and the discussion of the five back-to-basic steps that are essential in following your Professional Destiny.
April 14, 2010
Where are you comfortable in your work? Do you consider yourself a great strategist looking into the future, or do you like to perfect things and make them hum? In the following excerpt from my book, Professional Destiny, I define two common types of leaders: the Visionary and the Master of Operations. Check out the indicators and see which type best describes you:
.
| Visionary |
Master of Operations |
| Sees potential |
Takes the vision and makes
things happen |
| Sees the future |
Turns ideas into hard and fast reality |
| Knows what to do next |
Knows what to do now |
| Great strategist |
Great operationally |
| Sets and drives the vision |
Shows results |
| Likes to build from scratch |
More comfortable growing an existing idea, rather than developing one from scratch |
| Has little patience for process and day-to-day operations; is drained by them |
Likes analysis and best practices, and thrives establishing process and operations |
| Is the inventor who steers the organization in new directions |
Is the glue that holds the organization
together and allows it to sustainably prosper |
For any company to reach beyond a certain size, it needs both of these types at the top as well as leading each major department or initiative.
A Visionary typically starts an organization, takes it to a certain size, and then confusion and chaos tend to creep in. At this time he or she must find the Master of Operations to get to the next level. In many of my consulting sessions, I worked with people in the top of their organizations to help them determine if they were a Visionary or a Master of Operations.
A Visionary is often the person who starts the organization and for this purpose, let’s assume becomes the CEO. This person is the futuristic leader and the big-picture thinker. Sometimes a Master of Operations starts an organization and can thrive to a certain level, but typically the idea behind the company already exists. A franchise is a good example—the idea for the business is already established, but a strong operational person can make it successful. The Master of Operations is the person best suited to run day-to-day operations. They are detail- and process-oriented and have the gift of getting things done. Rarely is a person a strong Visionary and Master of Operations, yet both are necessary as an organization expands. An organization that has a strong Visionary and Master of Operations often experiences a great deal of growth. Ironically, a common mistake that these organizations make is to believe that the two roles can be interchanged. When the Visionary retires or steps down, the Master of Operations who has been “groomed” often steps in to take his or her place. This rarely works because the Master of Operations cannot be taught to be the Visionary. It is not his or her gift. Similarly, a true Visionary rarely has the patience, interest and discipline for everyday details to keep the company on track.”
Long-term, you will only be motivated if you are doing something you want to do and can see yourself happily sustaining the role. If you’ve ever found yourself in a position that asked you to be something you are not, you know how this feels. You become de-energized and deflated, and oftentimes you cease to be successful as you become less enthusiastic about your role. So take the time to reflect on your skills and be honest about where you best fit. Then watch your satisfaction level—and your contribution soar.
Copyright 2010
March 24, 2010
Transition in life can be like entering a long, dimly-lit tunnel. One moment you’re driving through comfortable surroundings and next, you find yourself suddenly underground, not knowing exactly when you’ll emerge. Whether you are changing careers, ending a relationship or starting an entirely new chapter in life, it takes confidence, strength and commitment to see the light on the other side.
In Professional Destiny, I talk about the importance of discipline of the mind, body, soul and actions. Here is an abbreviated excerpt from the book about the importance of preparing your mind in order to fast-track to your next destination.
“Align your thoughts with the future you want to create. Your thoughts are weaving your reality, so be aware of the reality your thoughts are creating. Are your thoughts from the past—or from your vision? Dwelling on thoughts from the past can hold you back, while thoughts of the future can begin creating a new reality. Are your thoughts serving you? If not, change them to align with your vision.
Enlarge your view of possibilities. Look openly at things and see all possibility. Don’t see only what your eyes see right in front of you. If you do, you accept limitation. Actively search to see new potential.
Break the chains of negative thought. As soon as you recognize a limiting thought—fear, uncertainty, doubt, limitation, guilt—replace it with your vision. Remind yourself of the progress you’ve already made in the past week, month or year. It helps to write down your accomplishments so you can feel a real sense of satisfaction.
Rally against the fear and stop all self-effacing and tentative behaviors. This means actively weeding out self-doubt. The first step is awareness. Notice when you are back-tracking on yourself, or giving yourself excuses for why your dream might not work out. Squash the idea of sellout plans and how to rationalize them. When you are tempted to compromise and settle for something easier… don’t.
Closely guard your confidence and sense of self-worth. If you feel them slipping, remind yourself of how valuable you are and that your time is precious. If you have moments when you can’t see this for yourself, seek out someone who will see it for you.
Make commitments. Every morning make two commitments: a “To Be” commitment based on who you want to be today and a “To Do” commitment based on what you want to achieve. Your “To Be” commitment sets the tone for the day and your “To Do” list ties to the importance of your goals. Determine what step is necessary to make something happen. As you complete a task, cross it off your list and give yourself a sense of accomplishment.
Value your time. Another important part of discipline is not distracting yourself with appointments or tasks that don’t advance your goals. Your time is your most important asset. Value it.”
Discipline of the mind is essential for getting from point A to point B, especially when you’re in unfamiliar and uncomfortable surroundings. When you equip your mind with an unshakable belief that you can and will move forward, you’ll soon find that the light at the end of the tunnel is much closer than you think.
March 10, 2010
A ship in harbour is safe,
but that is not
what ships are built for.
—William Shed
Following your Professional Destiny is like a ship setting sail on an open sea. It’s a great adventure. To reach your destination requires preparation, guts and a strong commitment. You must be willing to journey into the open sea, beyond the safe harbor of your current surroundings. This requires moving past comfort and complacency. Confident that you are the captain of your ship, you can determine and adjust your course even when outside forces affect your journey. You have a compass, your inner guidance, to direct you. If there’s a storm raging and drama all around you, it may be momentarily drowned out and you’ll likely be tossed around—but that is temporary. With your ship in good working order and your crew (or people who support you) in place you’ll weather the storm and arrive at an exciting new destination. Here are six tips to help you on your way to finding your Professional Destiny:
Prepare yourself for the journey. Like a true professional, you need to practice your gift every day. To do this you must be fit, rested and have your physical and mental capacities about you.
Trim down to the essentials. Make sure your mind and body are fit for the task in front of you. You must have the stamina, strength and essentials that you need—but only the things you need. Leave all the extra weight behind.
Get focused and determined. Growth is a journey, and on any journey you will encounter unforeseen obstacles. Your ability to overcome these barriers will determine whether you succeed. It takes complete dedication, a whatever-it-takes mindset.
Overcome the fear of moving into unknown territory. You might have to struggle when you venture into something new. Worst of all, you don’t know what’s out there. Your mind tells you maybe it’s better to stay right where you are in the known and comfortable. Abandoning your vision seems like the safer, more logical choice, but it comes at a tremendous and incalculable price.
Be responsible. Realize that you are the driver of your life and you have the ability to respond to each situation. Take ownership. Steer the ship. You cannot take a hands-off approach and expect to become a master of your gift.
Dare to be remarkable. If you pattern yourself after others, you will be like others and consequently will be… ordinary. The people who show an absolute conviction to make it, who pick themselves up when they fall, who fully invest their effort, time and energy, are the ones who accomplish extraordinary results.
Do not expect the journey to be short. It never is. You can have the destination in mind, but the journey will take you in directions you never imagined going. Looking back you will see that these were places you needed to go. They were experiences you needed to have, or lessons you needed to master, to prepare you for your destiny—the career you were born for. When considering whether to set sail into new waters, remember a ship isn’t built to stay in the harbor—and neither are we.
March 1, 2010
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