This post is inspired by Dan Karslake, my friend and documentary filmmaker who I visited during last week’s trip to New York. Dan is following his Professional Destiny. He is making a film called Every Three Secondsabout ending world hunger. And during an interview I had with him he explained:
“There are two kinds of hunger—the hunger for food and the hunger for more. This film is really about us—it’s about me—and our own lack of relationship with enough. I’ve been taught to look past what I have to what I don’t have. I have a car but I’m always noticing the car I’d rather have. I have 12 shirts, but I’m always noticing the 13th shirt that I want to buy. We have no relationship with enough. We are about what we don’t have.”
How does this concept relate to your Professional Destiny?
Having enough financially enables us to be less distracted. If we are constantly struggling to make ends meet, we have less time, money and resources to help others and we might not get the luxury of pursuing our Professional Destiny right away. We often ignore our yearnings and choose practicality instead.
Yet, as I’ve written in my book:
“A trap that we are all susceptible to, especially in the Western world, is that we overlook the concept of having enough. We come to never fully enjoy what we have because we are always thinking about what we don’t yet have (a nicer home or car, more possessions, a bigger company, more money, finer art). This sense of wanting more is an insatiable hunger. It is poison to our soul and kills new, creative possibilities because it locks us into a pattern. It might make our life more comfortable but it doesn’t bring us true fulfillment, which only comes when we feel like we are making a difference in a genuine, meaningful way.
You can be financially successful, a respected leader in your profession, be admired for your status, have beautiful possessions and a lovely family—but still feel a nagging sense of emptiness.
I find that most people who have made it in their career and have achieved success have just about everything they want materially, but do not feel fulfilled. They want to venture out and make a difference, but are immobilized by fear and the need to have a familiar sense of security, stability and enough…
Security often means that they do not take risks or allow themselves to be open to new possibilities. Many have lost the concept of having ‘enough’ and cannot accept the idea of making less money for a while, even if it makes them happier. They cannot escape the money trap and therefore are not free. Because of the overwhelming need for survival, even beyond the point of enough, we ignore our deepest yearnings and continue in a job that is not fulfilling—or even worse, a job that is sapping our lifeblood and essence. We think we are making a living, but in reality our spirit is slowly dying.”
So recognize when enough is enough and get a grip on that insatiable hunger for more—you just may be surprised to discover a whole new richness in your life.
Just over a week ago, I had an opportunity to attend a TEDx event in Austin. It was one of those rare “shatter-any-remnants-of-small-thinking” kinds of days. One speaker after another spoke to us about big ideas ranging from overcoming cancer, to new space frontiers, to the advances in human genomics. Then came an afternoon talk made by Daniel Pink from the global TED conference about the surprising science of motivation. The whole discussion was compelling, but in the second half of his speech, he outlined the pillars of a new operating system for businesses that were absolute music to my Professional Destiny ears. These three fundamental concepts are:
Autonomy—The urge to direct our own lives Mastery—The desire to get better and better in something that matters Purpose—The yearning to do what we do in service larger than ourselves
Pink used what he called “true facts” to make the case that these intrinsic motivators work much better than the old fashioned carrot-and-stick approach that most companies still use.
Autonomy, mastery and purpose are part of the journey to your Professional Destiny. In my book, I discuss how people use their natural gifts to become masters at their chosen field, and how fulfilling it is to excel in something that really matters to you and others. Intrinsic motivation occurs when people can fully express their talent and become part of something larger. Here is a list of indicators from the first chapter that will help you recognize at the individual level when this happens:
You are engaged
You feel on track
You feel honest
You become lighter
You are committed
You operate with compassion
You make a contribution
You are fulfilled
You make a difference
On the corporate level, the feeling of autonomy and empowerment is essential to keeping people engaged (see earlier post on Why Most Corporations Homogenize Remarkable People, Part 3: Empowerment vs. Marginalization). When people are fully engaged and properly motivated, inventions and breakthroughs occur. There is clearly a new model for business that works better than the old. And it’s great to see a lawyer, the London School of Economics and the Federal Reserve Bank all come together to make the case!
In the spirit of the holidays, I thought I’d change things up and dig out a light-hearted fairy tale I’d written back in 2006, when Professional Destiny wasn’t even yet a manuscript. Enjoy!
Once upon a time there was a little boy named Henri. Henri grew up in the perfect home with adoring parents who met his each and every need. Everyone he met looked at him with love, then cooed and showered him with attention. He viewed his new surroundings with wonder and awe—life was a curious, grand adventure!
When Henri got a little older, his parents brought him to his first musical performance. He was mesmerized by the singing and dancing, and simply couldn’t get it out of his head. He decided right then and there that he wanted to be involved in theatre—and perform onstage. He asked his mother and father for music and dance lessons, but to his dismay, they looked slightly concerned and tried to steer him in a different direction. In fact, he thought they seemed a little upset. He was puzzled. Luckily, on his tenth birthday, his favorite aunt came along and enrolled him in music and dance classes before anyone could object. He loved every moment and his teacher said that he had a gift. Bursting with pride, Henri eagerly shared some of his new dance moves with members of his fifth grade class—and it was a terrible experience. A few of the boys that he thought were his friends, mimicked him and told him he should play football instead. He felt betrayed and silly, and started to doubt himself since his friends and family all thought it was strange. Maybe the others were right. Henri decided never to speak of it again and quickly put his dream out of his mind.
Many years later, Henri went to college and decided to follow in his father’s footsteps. He studied finance and accounting. He didn’t really like finance but that’s what paid the bills, or so everyone said. Henri had learned from his painful fifth grade experience—and strived to be just like the others. During his senior year, though, fate stepped in. Henri had to fulfill one last “arts” requirement in order to graduate, so he enrolled in a drama class and once again was swept away by the thrill of theatre. He began writing musicals on the side as a way to distract him from the dreariness of finishing his finance major.
Henri graduated with honors and moved to New York. He became an investment banker and sure enough, did make money. A lot of it. He bought an upscale apartment, lived the high life and ate out every night. Henri navigated through life well enough, but couldn’t shake the feeling that something significant was missing. On the outside everything looked great, but on the inside he felt achingly empty. It was like his heart had a hole in it. He even considered anti-depressants.
Then one day, he met a girl on the subway. Her name was Rose. Rose wasn’t the type Henri usually dated but she looked happy and had a sparkle that he hadn’t seen in a very long time. He felt drawn to her—so he asked her to lunch. She told him that she worked at the Children’s Hospital and was in charge of entertaining the children who were treated there. Many of them had serious, life-threatening diseases like leukemia and cancer. Two nights later, Henri went with Rose to a watch play at the hospital. As he looked around and saw the children laugh, he realized that his heart felt full for the first time since he was a child. Before he could stop himself, he volunteered to write a musical for the next show, and she accepted.
Henri didn’t know what had come over him. He was a busy, important man and now he’d committed himself to this time-consuming project. He thought about backing out, but something made him go on and finish.
Several months later, as Henri sat with Rose on opening night, he was a bundle of nerves. The musical began and Henri looked around and saw himself surrounded by hundreds of brave, young children who had momentarily forgotten their illness, and sat mesmerized and laughing. In that instant his heart felt so full that he thought it would burst.
Henri became a changed man. He found himself writing more musicals and plays and he found himself spending more time with Rose. Soon he realized that she was the one for him and within months they married in a small church nearby. They decided to pursue their dreams and with a little trepidation, Henri gave up his job on Wall Street.
Life became a bit more challenging for Henri, and he and Rose had to make some financial sacrifices to get by. His friends and parents were concerned about him. Those same doubts came back, the ones that made him put aside his dream so long ago—only this time, he refused to give in to them.
The more energy Henri put into the musicals, the better they got. Soon they were beginning to be produced off Broadway and critics were taking notice. His shows attracted larger and larger audiences, until one day his favorite musical ended up on Broadway. It was a dream come true! Henri never looked back after that. He became an “overnight” success in New York (of course, we all know it wasn’t overnight!) and he brought laughter and entertainment to thousands of people.
Night after night as the theatres were packed, Henri and Rose reserved front row seats for the children who had inspired this journey. As he sat watching those little faces fill with joy, Henri experienced a sense of satisfaction he had never known before… and with that feeling deep in his heart, he and Rose lived happily ever after.
It’s this sense of joy and contribution that motivates each and every one of us. And for this holiday season, I wish you all this same kind of deep fulfillment that Henri and Rose journeyed to find.
In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I thought I’d celebrate with a different type of blog post. It’s about being grateful. I discovered many years ago that being grateful is a magical force. It’s a gift to the person you’re grateful to and it has the unexpected benefit of being a huge gift to YOU!
If you think about it, it’s impossible to feel lousy and grateful at the same time! If you want to come out of a negative space—if you are feeling drained, or you’ve been in an upsetting situation—you can quickly change your outlook and how the rest of the day unfolds by thinking of all the wonderful things in your life (down to the tiniest detail) and saying thanks. Get serious about it and see for yourself if it isn’t true. Spend the first few minutes of your day giving thanks for the nice things that happened (a sincere smile in the grocery store, an unexpected surprise or a thoughful gesture) and see how your mood and outlook changes. And when they change, you’re ready to take on remarkable things.
As I mention in my book, Professional Destiny, your head is the home of rational thought and logic. Your heart is the home of intuition and your true essence. Both are essential, but in the day-to-day grind, it’s often easier to stay in your head. Gratitude and thanks are a path straight to your heart. They take you out of the mentality of right and wrong, good and bad, and an unsatisfying place of judgment. They put you in a more positive space and magnetize you to the great things in life—the things you want. When you give thanks, you attract more.
So as you prepare to celebrate on this day of Thanksgiving—spend an extra few moments to recognize even the smallest blessings—and see how good you feel.
The following is an article that I was invited to contribute to More.com about my reinvention from advertising executive into author of Professional Destiny.
Many of us have achieved success but find ourselves yearning for fulfillment. For me, an uncomfortable sense that something was “missing” in my life was a turning point that led me to write a book devoted to the topic of purpose and how it relates to your working life. The following excerpt from Professional Destiny®—Discover the Career You Were Born For, explains how my own personal story of reinvention began…
“I reached a pivotal turning point during my mid-thirties. I remember a distinct moment when I was sitting on the porch at my house in Boulder, Colorado, looking across the street at the stunning Flatiron mountains thinking, “to everyone else I look like I have it all: two beautiful daughters, a good husband, friends, a great career, high income, a wonderful house and excellent health—yet deep down I am completely miserable.”
Something was missing inside.
It was at that time that I began to yearn to move from a life of success to a life of significance.”
This moment on my porch in Boulder began my search for my “professional destiny.” Although I was successful by all outward measures, I couldn’t help but feel that there was something bigger I was meant to do. I had a purpose to fulfill and needed to find it. The search became my mission. It took several years (with a few detours along the way!) for me to transition from a marketing and advertising executive to an author, speaker and coach. But that poignant moment marked the beginning of a wonderful, challenging and fulfilling journey. It was my time of rediscovery and reinvention.
This story was originally published on More.com
I became fascinated by the idea that there’s an “ideal career” for everyone, but only a small percentage of us manage to find it. I came to realize that for many, true fulfillment only comes after some period of disappointment or disenchantment—and I had mine on the porch. I started questioning people to see if I could find any common traits among those who had a real passion for their work and discovered that the most highly motivated and fulfilled were those who were making use of their natural gifts. In effect, they were working in the career they were born for. For these people, work isn’t about money or title. It’s about satisfaction, empowerment, feeling energetic about their work, making an impact, fully exercising a talent and inspiring others.
The journey is not for the faint of heart. It may mean leaving a familiar sense of security and stability. It may mean leaving behind an impressive title or professional identity. Almost always, it means venturing into the unknown. But if your days become routine and you find yourself in a position that saps your spirit, the move to energizing, fulfilling work is well worth it. There is a difference. A job is something we do to earn a living, our “professional destiny” is a mighty undertaking that challenges us, taps into our creative energy and reawakens our spirit. Our passion and creativity are ignited. If we’re not feeling it today, perhaps it’s a call for reinvention!
At my book signing in Austin last Thursday, Trevor Romain (bestselling children’s author, speaker and TV personality whose story is featured in my book) made a comment during his talk about moving from his career in advertising to becoming an author of children’s books. He said he had “grown tired of trying to sell things to people that they didn’t need” and decided to do something that made a difference.
This spurred a lively discussion afterward with a close friend who asked me, “What if your ‘professional destiny’ is in something like advertising?” What if you’re meant to be the world’s best creative director and you get great joy from that? Are you making a judgment that you need to leave everything behind and go change the world?
It’s a great question. But, the answer could be different for each one of us.
My premise in Professional Destiny is that we all have natural gifts—things we are uniquely good at and love to do—and that we are happiest when these gifts are expressed and shared. There is nothing like the feeling of tapping into our gifts every day and applying them to something that we feel is genuinely making a difference.
This brings me to the subject of “career dissonance.” If you are in a profession, feeling great joy and are in line with your values, that’s awesome—keep going—full steam ahead!! You could be a trash collector feeling that you’re cleaning the earth while supporting your family, a lawyer representing people who genuinely need help or in advertising, promoting something that you believe in—it really doesn’t matter. But, if you are in a profession and you feel dissonance between your gifts, values and what you are being asked to do—then change is needed.
Using advertising as an example: Let’s say you are very health-conscious and only eat natural, organic foods. You work in an agency, loving what you do, until suddenly you are assigned to the new fast-food account that your agency just won (like Wendy’s or Dairy Queen). At this point you encounter career dissonance. You have amazing creative gifts and you love to apply them, but you’re at odds with working on this account. An option for you might be to ask to be assigned somewhere else or, if that’s not possible, change agencies and work on an account that resonates with you. If you apply your magnificent talents to a company who sells products you believe in (like a local, organic market or Whole Foods), you can experience tremendous joy.
Bottom line: if you’re doing what you love and believe in, and getting to practice your gifts every day, then go for it—there is no career dissonance happening in your world!
This is the story of Marcie Finney—a former ad designer turned entrepreneur of Seeds for Goodness, a fast-growing, eco-fashion brand that creates stylish, earth-friendly jewelry and adornments. It’s an inspiring Professional Destiny story of her choice to thrive, and make a difference.
“My entrepreneurial spirit started eight years ago. I had been working in an advertising agency, but knew it was time for me to go out on my own as a freelance designer. I loved my client interactions and wasn’t getting enough if it in the agency, so I struck out on my own. I do love design and it’s a gift. In particular, I love seeing an idea come to life. Yet, I always knew I’d do some-thing else, but I didn’t quite know what.
A clue was that when I was young, my friend and I teamed up in school and made necklaces. I even sold enough pieces to buy a pair of rollerblades! I always loved to make my own funky pieces, but that’s as far as it went.
Over and over again, people told me that they loved my usage of color. All of my work is colorful. In fact, if you don’t like color, you’re not going to come to me. I like vibrancy! My gift in the design sense is that I’m meant to bring color into whatever form I create.
Every year I take a trip to reflect. It’s a quiet time for me to ask myself: ‘What do I want? Where am I going?’ It’s necessary for me to pause and just get quiet. I went to Cabo and during that time, felt my life was going to shift. I knew it, but didn’t know what it was shifting to.
Unlike most people, I always wear my jewelry when I practice yoga. After Cabo, for two months straight, people would comment on a piece I was wearing. It was every day, everywhere I went—at yoga, at grocery stores, you name it. They’d say: ‘can I buy your jewelry online? Will you sell me the piece you’re wearing?’ I asked myself – ‘do I need to do anything with this?’
A month later my friend Tony called me and asked me what I was doing besides design. He told me ‘you need to pursue it, it’ll be huge… bigger than you think.’
Some of the best things come when you least expect it. I was going about my day and I suddenly got an intuitive message loud and clear. It was ‘you need to work with seeds.’ I didn’t really know what it meant, but I started to do research about seeds and I was blown away. The colors, the texture were unbelievable – and so me! The trumpets started playing!
I said ‘I’ll do it’ and the universal doors flew open. It’s been a little over a year journey now. Aveda became interested in my line and has become a large client. There are several retail locations where my jewelry is placed in Austin, and it’s expanding into Dallas. I can see the momentum – everything I stock in a store will sell out. I feel like it has a life of its own, and it’s a lot of work, but totally fulfilling.
Most exciting is that the name for my line literally came to me—“Seeds for Goodness.” I chose that name because in this world, we can get hardened—we may not recognize the goodness in our lives. I wanted to remind people. All good things start from something small and it was perfect that I was working with seeds. You have to nurture them; you have to let them grow. You can’t just walk away. You need to expect the goodness that lies inherent in the seed to grow. This is a greater symbol of who we are. We all are these amazing seeds that have so much potential within us, and we need to nurture that potential. For example, if we’re doing something we don’t really love—if we’re doing something just to exist—we’re not to thriving. Seeds are meant to thrive. So are we.”
Ever knew what you loved to do as a child, but then lost track of it as an adult? Here’s a story of rediscovery. It’s a reminder that sometimes finding your professional passion may simply be a matter of remembering what you love and taking the leap of faith to do it. Today’s entry is the compelling story of Shelley Seale, one of the first nominations submitted as a Professional Destiny “Hero.” It’s a story of her journey from childhood writer, to real estate broker, and back to writer—as a successfully published author.
“I started my career in real estate, although I definitely had a passion for writing long before that. Because I was the first child for my parents and grandparents, everyone read to me. I loved hearing the words and stories. My earliest memory of writing was around age eight when I wrote dorky little books and published them. It was my hobby. My great grandmother lived in a nursing home and I would go to there and hear the most amazing stories. For example, one woman, probably in her eighties, had been a prima ballerina in the Moscow ballet. She told me about her fascinating life, and others would as well. I wrote each person’s story on a pad of paper, then would illustrate and bind it, and bring my newly published “book” to my new friend in the nursing home.
All this time, it never occurred to me that writing was a practical choice for a career. I couldn’t see myself making a living as a writer, so I never really considered it.
When I was in college, I started working in a real estate firm. One of the positions I wanted required me to have a real estate license, so I got one. I then launched into a career I would have for the next 15 years without a whole lot of thought. Looking back I would say that real estate chose me as a profession… I didn’t really choose it. I was making pretty decent money so I stayed in it.
I started writing articles about buying and selling homes for real-estate journals. People began to contact me and ask to re-use what I had written. For example, I wrote an article about how to ease the trauma for children in a move, and a mental-health-related website contacted me wanting to license the article for their publication. It was validating for me and it reawakened my love for writing.
It got so that I would rather write articles about real estate than actually show houses! When I started realizing that I enjoyed writing more than managing my business, I began to ask myself, “Why should I spend hours of my time doing what I’m not passionate about when I could do I AM passionate about?”
Writing was what inspired me, the other was just work… I considered it a chore. I knew I not only could write, but that I should. Otherwise it would be another 40 years of doing something I didn’t love. There are people out there who spend 40 or 50 years doing jobs they hate—I didn’t want to be one of them.
So I ramped up and began actively contacting publications. I first wrote about real estate because that’s what I knew, then started branching out. Soon I was writing about other topics such as owning a business, small business management and entrepreneurship—which were also things I knew. Then I expanded to write about other industries—technology, healthcare, travel, education. Over a period of several years I phased-in writing and phased-out real estate, until I finally flip-flopped careers. It took about five years.
I got involved with non-profits and wrote an article about Caroline Boudreaux for Austin Women’s magazine. This led me to India where the idea for my recent book, TheWeight of Silence, was born.
What were the obstacles I faced? I could make twice as much money in real estate as I do now, but I would be doing something I only tolerated, not what I loved. To me it’s worth it.
The benefit I’ve realized is even greater. I’m no longer compartmentalizing my life. Before it felt like the work I did was partitioned from who I was as a person. For so many people it’s: here’s your job, here’s your family time, here’s your hobby – they are compartmentalized as if they have no relation to each other. Now my life is integrated. My work doesn’t feel like work, because it’s part of who I am, not simply what I do. I have more of a focus on things that matter.
My advice to others wanting to make this change is to stay dedicated and persevere. It doesn’t happen overnight. It takes a commitment to pursue your passion. At times it would have been a lot easier to stay in real estate but I wouldn’t have been as happy.”
Have your own story of a career change that tapped into your gifts and allowed you to do what you love? Send in a comment and share your experience with others.
A friend just sent me a link to the trailer for Lemonade, an upcoming movie that takes a look at what happens when people who got paid to be creative in advertising lose their jobs and then became creative in their own lives. It’s just too perfect!
Coming from the advertising industry myself, I know several people (no, I won’t name any names!) who would insist that this movie was made specifically for them. They didn’t want to lose their jobs—and went through all of the nerve-wracking anxiety the movie depicts—but then had one of those “that was the best thing that ever happened to me” moments. They soon realize it’s a blessing in disguise and move on to something that taps into their truest potential—whatever that may be (artist, yoga instructor, nude copywriter, you name it). Soon they’re doing something that fires them up, more accurately expresses who they are and is integrated in their lives. They’re happier than before. As one of the characters says in his final comments: “I got laid off and I’m finally doing something that I think matters.”
The opportunity to follow your Professional Destiny can initially seem like you’ve just been tossed a big, sour lemon. But go out there, like these people, and make some sweet lemonade out of it!
One of the things I’m most excited about doing with this blog is sharing stories of people who have made the leap from an unfulfilling job into their life’s work. Work that makes them feel alive and makes a difference. Whatever jobs these people held, or what careers they discovered, there are valuable and inspirational lessons for all of us in how they came to discover their own gifts and make the move to a career that was deeply rewarding.
Caroline Boudreaux (left) in front of an orphanage she is building
In my book, I include people such as Mark Misage (an aspiring engineer who felt ambivalent about his major and bucks tradition to become a nationally recognized high school physics teacher), Caroline Boudreaux (a successful TV account executive, who at 29 had everything except happiness, and then found herself transforming the lives of thousands of Indian orphans by starting the Miracle Foundation), and Trevor Romain (who fought the odds of dyslexia and being told he had no writing and drawing talent as a child, to become a bestselling author, speaker and illustrator of children’s books). Those who make bold moves like these are Professional Destiny Heroes.
Inspirational stories like this are all around us, so let’s expand the conversation and share the stories of others who have made this journey. If you know someone, please nominate them today. It could be you, any “everyday” person or someone famous. Just leave a brief comment in this blog explaining what your Professional Destiny Hero has done. Please include contact information. I will be writing a blog post featuring these heroes every week or so, along with my other topics, and I’d love to include the most inspirational stories.
Think about how you’d answer the following questions (for you or another person you’re nominating) and include as much colorful detail as you can:
Do you consider yourself to be doing your life’s work? How is it different from a “job?” (See earlier blog post about the differences between a job and life’s work).
Why did you choose this profession? Did it require a change?
What obstacles (doubts, fears, setbacks) did you have to overcome?
What signs/encouragement did you get to show you were on the right path?
Do you feel that you are making a difference?
What have you learned and what advice do you have for others?
That’s it. I hope this will be a fun, rich experience that will help to inspire and motivate others. I look forward to hearing from you!
Professional Destiny® is about finding the career you were born for. I've created this site to help you in your pursuit. Here, you'll find excerpts from my book, as well as new ideas and stories to help you make the most of your natural gifts. We're a community, so please join the conversation!
Professional Destiny is ranked in the TOP 10 bestselling business and self-improvement books at BookPeople - the largest independent bookstore in Texas!
This post is inspired by Dan Karslake, my friend and documentary filmmaker who I visited during last week’s trip to New York. Dan is following his Professional Destiny. He is making a film called Every Three Seconds about ending world hunger. And during an interview I had with him he explained:
In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I thought I’d celebrate with a different type of blog post. It’s about being grateful. I discovered many years ago that being grateful is a magical force. It’s a gift to the person you’re grateful to and it has the unexpected benefit of being a huge gift to YOU!
The following is an article that I was invited to contribute to More.com about my reinvention from advertising executive into author of Professional Destiny.
This is the story of Marcie Finney—a former ad designer turned entrepreneur of 
Ever knew what you loved to do as a child, but then lost track of it as an adult? Here’s a story of rediscovery. It’s a reminder that sometimes finding your professional passion may simply be a matter of remembering what you love and taking the leap of faith to do it. Today’s entry is the compelling story of Shelley Seale, one of the first nominations submitted as a Professional Destiny “Hero.” It’s a story of her journey from childhood writer, to real estate broker, and back to writer—as a successfully published author.
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