Sometimes you simply can’t predict your life. Earlier this year, I was living in Austin and writing my second book. Now I live in Denver and have a role as Chief Marketing Officer for a great company. It was a surprise to everyone—including myself.
But in hindsight it makes perfect sense. As I wrote in Professional Destiny, you have to follow the signs and when they all line up and point in a certain direction—it’s time to morph and change. Luckily, after years of practice, I’m beginning to get this lesson down! When my friend and former colleague, Katherine Ott (now CEO of SlimGenics), called me months ago to discuss a “business opportunity,” I, of course, thought it had to do with books—my books to be precise. I had left my marketing and advertising career almost two years before and didn’t have any immediate plans to go back. So my initial thought to her offer to run the marketing team was “that’s really nice, but no.”
Funny how no’s can turn into yes’s!
Sooner than I expected, I found myself remembering how well we had worked together in the past, how brilliant I thought she was and how I had surprisingly started to miss being “in the fray.” My life as an author and consultant was very satisfying—and calm. I loved Austin, but I’d lived in Colorado before and was happy there, so that wouldn’t be too traumatic. Plus, there were several people on the marketing team that I’d worked with twelve years ago, so in a sense the band was getting back together. And the kicker was that SlimGenics is a company dedicated to helping people change their life for the better. In a real and sustainable way. And this is something that drives me.
But the greatest thing about the change, I discovered after arriving here. When you’re doing something meaningful, you can’t help but being inspired. And then you meet more inspiring people. It all starts to build upon each other—in an entirely new way than I’d experienced before. I’m sharing with you a short video of a dynamic and compelling person I met once I came on board. It’s about his personal journey in weight loss. I met Jeff my very first week while I was in counselor training class trying to soak up everything I could about the SlimGenics program. He came in to share his perspective of what it was like to lose 110 pounds and we were all… mesmerized. Watch his story and I’m sure you will be too.
Jeff told me once that helping people improve their lives by helping them lose weight was his Professional Destiny. He said, “I can’t believe I get to wake up in the morning and do work that inspires people.” Watch out—doing this kind of thing is addictive and contagious, but it’s one of those natural highs that I highly recommend.
The following is an article that I was invited to contribute to More.com about my reinvention from advertising executive into author of Professional Destiny.
Many of us have achieved success but find ourselves yearning for fulfillment. For me, an uncomfortable sense that something was “missing” in my life was a turning point that led me to write a book devoted to the topic of purpose and how it relates to your working life. The following excerpt from Professional Destiny®—Discover the Career You Were Born For, explains how my own personal story of reinvention began…
“I reached a pivotal turning point during my mid-thirties. I remember a distinct moment when I was sitting on the porch at my house in Boulder, Colorado, looking across the street at the stunning Flatiron mountains thinking, “to everyone else I look like I have it all: two beautiful daughters, a good husband, friends, a great career, high income, a wonderful house and excellent health—yet deep down I am completely miserable.”
Something was missing inside.
It was at that time that I began to yearn to move from a life of success to a life of significance.”
This moment on my porch in Boulder began my search for my “professional destiny.” Although I was successful by all outward measures, I couldn’t help but feel that there was something bigger I was meant to do. I had a purpose to fulfill and needed to find it. The search became my mission. It took several years (with a few detours along the way!) for me to transition from a marketing and advertising executive to an author, speaker and coach. But that poignant moment marked the beginning of a wonderful, challenging and fulfilling journey. It was my time of rediscovery and reinvention.
This story was originally published on More.com
I became fascinated by the idea that there’s an “ideal career” for everyone, but only a small percentage of us manage to find it. I came to realize that for many, true fulfillment only comes after some period of disappointment or disenchantment—and I had mine on the porch. I started questioning people to see if I could find any common traits among those who had a real passion for their work and discovered that the most highly motivated and fulfilled were those who were making use of their natural gifts. In effect, they were working in the career they were born for. For these people, work isn’t about money or title. It’s about satisfaction, empowerment, feeling energetic about their work, making an impact, fully exercising a talent and inspiring others.
The journey is not for the faint of heart. It may mean leaving a familiar sense of security and stability. It may mean leaving behind an impressive title or professional identity. Almost always, it means venturing into the unknown. But if your days become routine and you find yourself in a position that saps your spirit, the move to energizing, fulfilling work is well worth it. There is a difference. A job is something we do to earn a living, our “professional destiny” is a mighty undertaking that challenges us, taps into our creative energy and reawakens our spirit. Our passion and creativity are ignited. If we’re not feeling it today, perhaps it’s a call for reinvention!
“What you are doing right now has within it the seeds of your life’s work. As you may have discovered, each time you get a new job you use many of the skills you have already developed. It is as if every job prepares you in some way for the next one. Every skill you acquire that you love using will be important as you follow your higher path. You may not understand why you took a job or developed a particular talent or ability, but the skills you have learned will be of value to you. Trust that what you are doing right now is helping you gain skills that will be used in your greater life’s work.”
—Sanaya Roman in Creating Money
When I read this quote, I immediately thought of Steve Job’s commencement speech at Stanford University—an oldie but goodie. Jobs discussed his college years when he dropped out of school to informally drop in on only the subjects that interested him. It may have seemed irresponsible at the time, but it seems like legend now. Here is an excerpt from his speech:
“I dropped out of Reed College after the first six months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out? I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents’ savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn’t see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out okay. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn’t interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.
It wasn’t all romantic. I didn’t have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends’ rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the seven miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:
Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn’t have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and sans serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can’t capture, and I found it fascinating.
None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something —your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.”
(More discussion of this subject and speech is also covered in the chapter aboutFearless Faithin Professional Destiny).
Professional Destiny is about finding purpose and meaning in our profession. It’s about realizing a deeper level of satisfaction in what we do. It’s about not accepting status quo, or allowing ourselves to become complacent.
In other words, we don’t get to numb out.
Just recently I saw this TEDx talk by Brene Brown about the importance of vulnerability and its link to connection, purpose and meaning. I found it fascinating. And although we come at it from different angles, I saw the similarities between the quest to become whole-hearted as she discusses, and the quest to discover purpose and meaning in what we do.
In my book Professional Destiny, I wrote: ”Many people confide in me that at some point in their careers, they feel as if they’ve come to a fork in the road. They have reached a level of success and confidence and now they need to make a choice between pursuing an unknown road toward fulfillment, or choosing the familiar path that feels secure. One client so aptly put it, ‘I know I can go work for company XYZ and make six figures if I want a mind-numbing job, but I don’t. Now what do I do?’ It’s a challenging choice. On the one hand, if you decide to bite the bullet and pursue a deep yearning that you have, you are often venturing into the unknown—especially if it’s very different from the career you’ve known. You are venturing into unfamiliar territory and you can expect to feel significant anxiety over this. If, on the other hand, you settle and choose not to take that next step forward, you can expect to feel a deep-seated sense of disappointment followed by a sense of lethargy and possibly a low-level or high-level depression. Many people try to mask these feelings by keeping themselves ‘numbed’ through alcohol, prescription drugs or anything that takes their focus away from the fact that they are ignoring a message from their soul. Others simply try to keep frantically busy and convince themselves that they are so important, that they don’t have time to notice the uneasiness from within.”
Brene adds another twist from her research and perspective on those who live whole-heartedly. She says in this excerpt from her talk: “We live in a vulnerable world. And one of the ways we deal with it is we numb vulnerability. I think there’s evidence—and it’s not the only reason this evidence exists, but I think it’s a huge cause—we are the most in-debt, obese, addicted and medicated adult cohort in U.S. history. The problem is—and I learned this from the research—that you cannot selectively numb emotion. You can’t say, here’s the bad stuff. Here’s vulnerability, here’s grief, here’s shame, here’s fear, here’s disappointment, I don’t want to feel these. I’m going to have a couple of beers and a banana nut muffin. I don’t want to feel these… you can’t numb those hard feelings without numbing the affects, our emotions. You cannot selectively numb. So when we numb those, we numb joy, we numb gratitude, we numb happiness. And then we are miserable, and we are looking for purpose and meaning, and then we feel vulnerable, so then we have a couple of beers and a banana nut muffin. And it becomes this dangerous cycle.”
So you can’t choose to numb the hard stuff—the uncertainty, the fear, the risks, the vulnerability—and expect to find a deep level of satisfaction and true creative expression in your life. In other words you’re not living your Professional Destiny and you’re not living wholeheartedly. Thanks Brene Brown for adding this perspective.
Finding your purpose and practicing it in your profession is an immensely gratifying and productive experience. Your Professional Destiny is Work (with a capital “W”) that reflects a deep desire with you. It’s Work that inspires you and ignites your creativity. But, how do you know if you are in it? Here are nine indicators, excerpted from my book, that will tell you:
You are engaged.When you’re doing what you love, you become passionate about your work and lose track of time. You feel alive, energetic and creative. There is simply not enough time in the day to do what you can’t wait to do.
You feel on track.Things come naturally. Work seems easy, though it may not for others—because you’re exercising your gift. Your level of satisfaction is your true guidance system.
You feel honest.You’re being yourself. You’re pursuing a path that is in line with your values and interests, and you’re living in true authenticity with yourself.
You become lighter.Being true to your values allows you to shed a huge burden—the burden of maintaining a facade. You instantly experience a sense of relief as the weight is lifted.
You are committed.You clearly set your vision and do what you say you will. You may not know how you are going to get there or when, but you know that you will.
You operate with compassion.Your sense of individual freedom gives you a new sense of community. Your interactions become genuinely rewarding and you create true connections with others.
You make a contribution.What you are doing is meaningful and, while you may be well compensated, your driving force is contribution above money.
You are fulfilled.When you fully express your gifts, talents and creativity, you feel a deep-seated sense of satisfaction. Being on the path to reaching your full potential just feels great.
You make a difference.Your work positively impacts others in a most meaningful way. You’re confident that you’re leaving a legacy, and you’re gratified by that knowledge.
Ultimately, your Professional Destiny is a soul-level urge to fully express yourself and try something deeply interesting to you. It’s a dream that you carry inside—maybe it’s time to let it out.
Rarely do people say “hey, things are going really well… I think it’s time to change.” Most people don’t change when they are feeling totally comfortable.
We change when we are uncomfortable.
It could be due to disappointment with a current situation; it could be that we feel our talents are not fully expressed or our abilities are not appreciated; or it could be that we have a burning passion to try something new that just won’t let us stay complacent. Whatever it is, change takes commitment and a great deal of discipline. The following is an excerpt from my book, Professional Destiny about how change can require us to stretch ourselves beyond our comfort zone:
“Change is unavoidable. Reluctance to adapt to change will only keep you stuck. Growth demands the willingness to temporarily surrender your immediate sense of security. An unwillingness to sacrifice will hold you back. If you think you can achieve something great without sacrifice, you will stay glued to where you are, because rarely is this the case. To move forward you may have to give up safe but unrewarding work. Stay receptive and be willing to reinvent yourself to take advantage of new possibilities and shed things that are no longer working.
Keep growing, learning and working to improve yourself. Whatever gifts, skills, experience and resources you have, keep improving them. Think about how different our lives would be if we looked at every day as an exciting opportunity to learn, move one step forward and contribute.
In order to grow, we need to stretch ourselves—and it isn’t always comfortable. Expect this; it is part of the process. We need to get out of our comfort zone for extraordinary things to happen. The point is to stretch to where we feel uncomfortable (this means we are charting new territory), but we don’t need to stretch to the point of agony. This would paralyze us and be unproductive. If we are to continue growing, the need to stretch never ends. But if we look back later, we will discover that these times of stretching enabled us to make a change and reach new heights, and we will look back fondly at those times.”
Last night I had the great pleasure of listening to an interview with John O’Donohue, author of the book Anam Cara (and a great inspiration for the ideas in Professional Destiny). The interview was recorded with Krista Tippett of NPR shortly before he died in 2008 at the age of 52. O’Donohue talks about how each of us has a destiny—something to do here that can’t be done by anyone else. He says when you discover the necessity that brought you here, your gift and giftedness come alive. This newfound urgency of living and purpose rekindles your creativity and quickens your heart. Here is an excerpt from one of his final interviews:
“Since we spend over one third of our lives in the workplace, one of the loneliest things we can find is someone who is in the wrong kind of work, who shouldn’t be doing what they’re doing. They should be doing something else, yet haven’t the courage to get up and leave and make a new possibility for themselves.
But it is lovely when you find someone who is doing exactly what should be doing and whose work is an expression of their inner gift. By allowing us to witness that gift and by bringing it out, they are actually providing an incredible service to us all.
The gifts that are given to us are not for us alone, but they are also for the community and they are to be offered and shared.”
When you find your purpose, express your giftedness and practice it every day in your profession, you are doing your life’s work. You’ll feel a deep-seated sense of satisfaction and will positively impact others in a most meaningful way.
So perhaps it’s time to ask yourself… what is keeping you from your Professional Destiny?
Following your Professional Destiny doesn’t require a cold-turkey switch from less satisfying work to your dream job—especially when you’re starting out. Many people struggle with the idea that they can’t quit the work they’re doing to follow their passion. They have bills to pay. Or if they’re out of a job, they can’t rely solely on the income generated from the first years of doing something new and different. All of these concerns are real and valid. Although I wholeheartedly encourage people to go for it, there’s no need to be a Professional Destiny purist—especially if it’s painful!
If you’re living at a survival level and spending most of your time worrying about paying your bills and meeting basic needs, it’s quite hard to focus on finding your life’s work. If you’re anxious on a daily basis, you may want to consider taking a temporary job to pay the bills while you focus on finding your ideal career. In other words, it’s important to find a way to generate enough income so that you’re not in turmoil over a lack of it.
Even if an opportunity isn’t your idea of the perfect career, it can help you build a foundation while you focus on other things. You’ll be more effective and creative, if you’re not anxiety-ridden and struggling to survive.
Taking a role that’s in your comfort zone may even have hidden benefits—you might meet an important new person that will help you later. Or you may have multiple interests, as I do, and they can be surprisingly synergistic to bring about a great outcome. For example, after completing the manuscript for Professional Destiny, I went back into advertising for a year and met our then Chief Creative Officer and now famous blogger—Ken Segall—who was instrumental with the design and editing of my book. Going back to a position where you’re capable and comfortable can also provide you with additional skills, funding and opportunities that are a step in the right direction. I also greatly enjoyed the benefit of a steady paycheck and it helped me fund the launch of Professional Destiny and re-establish my consulting and coaching business. Plus while I was in advertising, I met many other people I enjoyed and now work with and had several opportunities to expand my skills and experience. The challenges and trials of the particular role I had turned out to be well worth it.
Easing your stress level with compensation that you can count on, helps you to feel good about yourself and radiate enthusiasm for looking for a new position that’s a better match for you. When you exude confidence, enthusiasm and prosperity into your new endeavor, you’ll be far more effective than trying to get started while you’re feeling poor, unsuccessful and fearful.
The trick is to make sure that an interim position doesn’t take all your time and energy so that you don’t have any left to focus on work that truly energizes you.
Of course, you certainly can choose to go cold-turkey into your Professional Destiny too, but that’s another blog post…
One of the greatest ways to tell if you’re aligned with your Professional Destiny is simply to check in and see if your 9-5 day feels like a struggle, or if the time passes by before you know it. When you’re fully engaged in an activity, you enter the flow. You feel strong, alert, effortlessly effective and satisfied. You’re at the peak of your ability and become unaware of time. When you’re not well matched with what you’re doing, it’s the opposite—you’re feeling out of sync, less motivated, less productive, disengaged and more prone to watching the clock. Needless to say, it’s far more satisfying to find a way to be in alignment with your gifts, interests, values and creative abilities in the work environment—especially if you’re like most people and tend to spend so much of your time there.
How to do this? It all starts with awareness. The following is a passage from Professional Destiny that describes in more detail what to look for and what to avoid…
“Notice what you enjoy doing and what you are good at. Make some time to do these things and rekindle your creativity. Concentration, or being in the flow, means total absorption. We can only be masters of something that interests us greatly. Great leaders and great inventors are not bored with their work. If you pay attention, you will notice that you are experiencing moments of joy when you are creating, working and learning. You forget about the world around you and lose track of your surroundings, fully experiencing the joy of what you are doing.
You come into flow in your life when you awaken your sense of destiny. You fall out of flow when you renege on your gifts and potential, or when you ignore your deepest calling and settle for mediocrity. Our tasks cannot be too simple for our abilities or we become bored and less creative. Whether things are “seamlessly clicking” or “rapidly combusting” is a sign of whether you are in or out of step with the flow.”
In other words, when you’re in step—and in your gift—things tend to fall into place. You’re motivated and more effective. What you do is easy for you, although it may be far more difficult for others. When you’re not in your gift things tend to be more of a struggle or even worse, spiral downward.
Simplicity is a sign of being in the flow. Usually if something is simple, elegantly efficient and practically effortless, it is a wonderful indicator that you’re on the right track.
Last week I was interviewed by Jen Spencer of Jen Spencer Coaches about Professional Destiny and how to make it work both for large organizations and for individuals wanting to pursue a new interest. She had some great questions. Here is an excerpt of that interview. Enjoy!
How do you define Professional Destiny?
A job is something we do to earn a living. Oftentimes it is too small for our spirit.
Our Professional Destiny is a mighty undertaking that challenges us, taps into our creative energy and reawakens our spirit. It is our work with a capital W. Once we start on the path, our passion and creativity are ignited. Best of all, we feel like our work is meaningful and that we are making a difference.
You’ve worked for and consulted with Fortune 500 companies. What key pieces of Professional Destiny would you highlight for large organizations that are managing many talent pools?
Recognize people’s natural talents and that they may have “spiky” skills (i.e. they are remarkable at 1-2 things). Don’t try to “homogenize” them and make them well-rounded. Great leaders are like conductors of an orchestra. It’s not about how they look behind the podium; it’s how they bring out the unique brilliance of each of their players. For more information I write a blog series on this very subject called “Why Most Corporations Homogenize Remarkable People.”
What tips would you give to someone that is currently working in a six-figure job that doesn’t match their Professional Destiny. Tips for redirecting, especially when you have financial obligations?
I have two pieces of advice. The first is to start dedicating a portion of your time (in the evenings/weekends) toward the pursuit of your professional passion. Your time could be spent networking, building a website, writing, painting, doing research… whatever. This enables you to build a foundation and make interesting contacts that will open new doors and opportunities. The second piece of advice is to make a financial plan that allows you to pare down to the bare essentials so that you can invest in yourself to make your dream happen. I call this “The Freedom Plan.” It’s a plan that buys your freedom to do what you love.
What sources of inspiration do you use/read/watch? Any role models that guide you?
I find inspiration all around me in books, music and audio CD’s (my current favorites: Lynne Grabhorn, Caroline Myss, and Jerry and Esther Hicks – they’re great to listen to in the car!). I’m also a great observer of people—I find JK Rowling and Elizabeth Gilbert’s talks inspiring). I’ve had many coaches and I surround myself with supportive friends. I feel like I’m learning everywhere I turn!
Professional Destiny® is about finding the career you were born for. I've created this site to help you in your pursuit. Here, you'll find excerpts from my book, as well as new ideas and stories to help you make the most of your natural gifts. We're a community, so please join the conversation!
The following is an article that I was invited to contribute to More.com about my reinvention from advertising executive into author of Professional Destiny.
