Tag: career change
This post is inspired by Dan Karslake, my friend and documentary filmmaker who I visited during last week’s trip to New York. Dan is following his Professional Destiny. He is making a film called Every Three Seconds about ending world hunger. And during an interview I had with him he explained:
“There are two kinds of hunger—the hunger for food and the hunger for more. This film is really about us—it’s about me—and our own lack of relationship with enough. I’ve been taught to look past what I have to what I don’t have. I have a car but I’m always noticing the car I’d rather have. I have 12 shirts, but I’m always noticing the 13th shirt that I want to buy. We have no relationship with enough. We are about what we don’t have.”
How does this concept relate to your Professional Destiny?
Having enough financially enables us to be less distracted. If we are constantly struggling to make ends meet, we have less time, money and resources to help others and we might not get the luxury of pursuing our Professional Destiny right away. We often ignore our yearnings and choose practicality instead.
Yet, as I’ve written in my book:
“A trap that we are all susceptible to, especially in the Western world, is that we overlook the concept of having enough. We come to never fully enjoy what we have because we are always thinking about what we don’t yet have (a nicer home or car, more possessions, a bigger company, more money, finer art). This sense of wanting more is an insatiable hunger. It is poison to our soul and kills new, creative possibilities because it locks us into a pattern. It might make our life more comfortable but it doesn’t bring us true fulfillment, which only comes when we feel like we are making a difference in a genuine, meaningful way.
You can be financially successful, a respected leader in your profession, be admired for your status, have beautiful possessions and a lovely family—but still feel a nagging sense of emptiness.
I find that most people who have made it in their career and have achieved success have just about everything they want materially, but do not feel fulfilled. They want to venture out and make a difference, but are immobilized by fear and the need to have a familiar sense of security, stability and enough…
Security often means that they do not take risks or allow themselves to be open to new possibilities. Many have lost the concept of having ‘enough’ and cannot accept the idea of making less money for a while, even if it makes them happier. They cannot escape the money trap and therefore are not free. Because of the overwhelming need for survival, even beyond the point of enough, we ignore our deepest yearnings and continue in a job that is not fulfilling—or even worse, a job that is sapping our lifeblood and essence. We think we are making a living, but in reality our spirit is slowly dying.”
So recognize when enough is enough and get a grip on that insatiable hunger for more—you just may be surprised to discover a whole new richness in your life.
June 2, 2010
Last week, in the discussion of Conquering Fear, I briefly introduced the concept of FUD—fear, uncertainty and doubt—and how it can freeze you in your tracks if you’re not careful. This week, as part two of Overcoming Obstacles to Your Professional Destiny, we’ll talk about uncertainty and doubt. They are a bit more insidious, but can be equally paralyzing. FUD is natural whenever you endeavor to do something different—especially when it’s a big step. Yet while it may be natural, it’s not particularly helpful… so let’s expose it here for what it is and weed it out!
The first four letters of the word “doubt” are also the root of the word “double” and it means believing in two things simultaneously. Meaning, you may believe in your success, but you also believe in your failure at the same time. This, in effect, cancels out or lessens your power (depending on the level of doubt). You’re become like a boat tossing in the waves, bobbing back and forth.
If something is not happening in your life that you want (new job, new relationship, success in your business, whatever) check to see how much doubt you are carrying. Then do your best to throw it overboard.
Uncertainty can also be a “success delayer.” It can keep you hemming and hawing—but, on the flip side if managed correctly, it can also open your eyes to new possibility. That is the way to harness it.
The following is some wisdom from Professional Destiny:
“Finding and living our purpose isn’t easy, and sometimes we just don’t want to deal with what is facing us. It seems too big. Or, we believe we will face a hard time in the unknown, so we just tune everything out and hope things will get better. The unknown is uncomfortable and no matter how unfulfilled we are feeling in our current situation, we’d rather stay in a situation we know instead of venture out. There is a great fear in moving from our familiar life, even if it is unsatisfying. We get to the point where we know ‘this is what I am not,’ but we don’t yet know what we ‘are.’ We say to ourselves, ‘This is what I don’t want, but I don’t really know what I do want.’ In other words, we know our current situation isn’t working for us, but we don’t know what our new situation will be or what it will look like. We are ‘in between’ and for most of us it’s a very uncomfortable place to be.”
But there is a completely different way to look at it. When we are uncertain, we are more open. Many possibilities are available to us—and we are more apt to pay attention to the “maybes.” A maybe could be our golden opportunity, but in the past we might have charged along, not even noticing it. Instead, we stayed narrowly focused in our comfort zone and missed the budding possibility.
Uncertainty is actually our time of greatest opportunity. So get comfortable with it and embrace it. If we hold our vision and resolve to take a step toward it each day, we can be assured that great uncertainty only lasts for a while. This too shall pass.
May 19, 2010
If you want to discover the career you were born for, one of the greatest challenges you’ll face is overcoming the obstacles that tempt you to stay complacent. In my book, Professional Destiny, I dedicate a chapter to “Obstacles and Tests” because there are several nasty forces that threaten to throw you off course if you’re not diligent. The biggies are: Fear, Uncertainty, Comfort and Complacency, Limitation and Habit, and Counter Intentions.
This week’s topic is fear and the following is an excerpt from Professional Destiny about how to move through it:
“In any undertaking of substance, we cannot expect ourselves to be fearless—we all have fear. The secret is to be courageous and not let our fear win over. Having courage is not the absence of fear but the drive and the strength to keep going in spite of it. Our desire and our vision must always be larger…
Since we were young, we have been taught to live in fear. Fear of ‘not enough’ and survival of the fittest.
Nothing stands between us and our highest purpose and the true desire of our heart, as much as doubt and fear. FEAR is an acronym for False Evidence Appearing Real. It is our greatest enemy. Most often the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. Fear of failure, fear of scarcity or ‘not enough,’ fear of sickness, fear of loss, fear of humiliation—all stop us from moving forward. We must substitute faith for fear. If you think about it, fear is really faith in the negative. It is faith in failure instead of faith in success.
Years ago, early in my marketing career, my peers and I used to pride ourselves in spreading FUD—fear, uncertainty and doubt—about our competition. We looked at it as a fundamental business game and took great relish in mastering it. FUD also stands in the way of achieving your purpose, and your mind is a master at it. It is the single greatest obstacle to accomplishing your purpose because it is insidious and can show up at every step of the way. The larger your purpose, the larger your fear, uncertainty and doubt will present itself. Expect this. Anytime you do something big, you can expect big challenges. They go hand in hand. Some fear is good, it can keep you safe, but the majority of fear only holds you back. Once you take a stand and commit to your vision, the fear that weighs you down will dissipate and you will make faster progress toward your goal. Anytime you experience new fear, it is a sign that you need to re-commit to your vision and re-commit to action. Make forward movement and the fear will take care of itself.
The question to ask yourself is, ‘what would you do if you weren’t afraid?’”
That’s some pretty powerful food for thought. Stay tuned for future installments covering the sister topics of overcoming Uncertainty, Comfort and Complacency, Limitation and Habit, and Counter Intentions.
May 12, 2010
A few weeks ago in my blog post about How It Starts, I promised a summary of the five key steps to following your Professional Destiny. In between then and now, I admit to being diverted by that fantastic Elizabeth Gilbert talk about overcoming fear and the timeliness of the Graduation message. But, here we are… better late than never… with a discussion of the five things you need to do when making a significant change.
- Get clear—Go within and remember what your unique talents and interests are. Your Professional Destiny is something that you are good at and love to do. Fill out the three-column exercise included in my book (Love to Do, Naturally Good At, Loathe to Do) and draw the parallels. Then set your vision and develop three to five simple, but powerful commitments.
- Do something toward your goal every day, even if you can’t see the whole picture—Write a “to do” list each morning and include a least one thing that will help you move in the direction you want. Even if you can’t make a full transition right away, push yourself to make a little bit of progress toward your interests, even if it’s only for 30 minutes each day. If you don’t see where it all leads right now, that’s okay, just take the first step and new possibilities will open up. The next step will be revealed.
- Actively weed out self-doubt—We all have a fear of failure, but refuse to give it power. When you find yourself thinking sabotaging thoughts, notice them and change your thinking—quickly! The journey can be unfamiliar and challenging, so be sure to have a support system in place. Many people will express their fears for you… to you. When they do, shake it off, avoid the naysayers and seek out the support of friends and coaches instead.
- Show up and have discipline—Show up at least five days a week and put some time in toward the interests you’ve identified in step one. Having discipline means that if you need to make three calls a day, and don’t really want to, you make the three calls anyway. Discipline also means prioritizing and trimming down to the essentials to fund your dream. For more information on this, see The Freedom Plan.
- Enjoy the journey—Go full speed ahead and be sure to notice the progress you’re making. Appreciate the small things along the way because they will lead to the big.
Remember, anyone can make a change at any time. We all have gifts and they are meant to be expressed and shared. It’s immensely fulfilling to put our unique talents into action and feel like we’re making a difference. When we do, we’ll soon notice that we’re on the path to discovering the career we were born for.
May 5, 2010
Yesterday I was interviewed by David Rawles for the Career Solutions Radio Talk Show. He asked several questions that took me back to the beginning—to the very inception—of Professional Destiny. And since that story hasn’t hit the blog rolls yet, I thought it would be fun to share the Cliffs Notes version here.
About ten years ago, I had a profound moment that changed my life and perspective. I was sitting on the porch at my house in Boulder, Colorado, looking across the street at the stunning Flatiron mountains thinking, “to everyone else I look like I have it all: two beautiful daughters, a good husband, friends, a great career, high income, a wonderful house and excellent health—yet deep down I feel an aching emptiness inside.” I had a nagging feeling that there was something more I was meant to do, but I didn’t know what it was.
For the next several years, I worked in a few notable Fortune 500 companies and was struck by how many people were “asleep” as I walked around. There was no real light in their eyes. So many smart, talented people were merely going through the motions of work each day simply to collect a paycheck. They seemed numbed out. And I was one of them.
So I began my search by reading voraciously, observing others and trying out new things.
Mark Misage - Physics Teacher
Then I met ordinary (yet at the same time extraordinary!) people who were lit up by their profession and who were intent on making a difference. I was fascinated by their stories and decided to learn from them. One was a physics teacher, one was a children’s author/motivational speaker and one was the founder of a global charitable organization. Each experienced a nudge to change, each faced significant challenges, and each chose to follow their dream. Their candid and inspiring first-hand narratives are included in my book.
All of us have something that we were born to do. It’s our Professional Destiny. We have a gift and we have a purpose—and we are meant to express them in a meaningful way. It’s this notion of making a genuine contribution that matches our interests, which differentiates our Professional Destiny from a job. A job is something we do merely to collect a paycheck.
When we feel like we have made a difference, we are fulfilled… and we have the wonderful, energizing feeling that we’re finally doing what we were born to do.
Stay tuned for part two of this interview series and the discussion of the five back-to-basic steps that are essential in following your Professional Destiny.
April 14, 2010
Eilene Zimmerman
A couple of weeks ago I was interviewed by Eilene Zimmerman, a journalist who writes for many national publications including the New York Times, The Christian Science Monitor and FORTUNE Small Business. This interview was for her personal blog, takingmyownadvice.com, which is a warm and engaging chronicle of her journey through transition, as a mother and soon-to-be ex-wife, as she avidly seeks a career and financial education.
Here is an excerpt of our discussion as she quizzed me about my experiences and the Professsional Destiny approach:
“Here it is April 1st and it’s no joke, I can’t figure out if I really need to talk to a coach. I’m torn, probably, because I spoke last week with Valerie Hausladen, and that felt like a coaching session in and of itself. Of course it wasn’t, it was an interview about her new book, Professional Destiny: Discover The Career You Were Born For. Her take-away is this: ‘Anyone can make a change at any time.’ But she also realizes change takes time. Her book is about transitions, something I’m interested in myself, as I’m in transition at this very moment.
Hausladen’s story is anything but straightforward, and that’s the rub. Making changes in your life can be tough, can take a while, and the path isn’t always linear…
Hausladen hadn’t changed her life overnight–it took a decade. She had always wanted to write a book and finally did it. She became a coach and started her own management consulting firm–Edge Communication Group in Austin.
She’s not suggesting that people up and quit their well-paying (or, in this economy, even their not-so-well-paying) jobs, but she is saying take that first step. ‘If you can’t leave your job, start doing one or two things a day towards what you really want to do. Connect with others in the industry where you want to be, get some more information about changing jobs or careers, ask for resources. Just do something towards that goal every day,’ she says. The first step–whatever it is–doesn’t have to be right, says Hausladen. It just has to BE. You have to take it and then if it’s wrong, you learn from it. But many of us are almost paralyzed by the choices we have–or think we have. You have to pick something or you’ll never pick anything.
Even if you haven’t worked in fifteen years and your teaching credential has long since expired, or the last time you worked in HR they didn’t have computers, don’t be discouraged. Maybe start by volunteering. Or by simply going online and researching the industry. Calling a school to see what that nurse practitioner program entails. Etc.
Maybe it sounds just a little corny when Hausladen says, ‘Take the first step and the next one will show itself.” But she’s right–you just can’t see the whole destination yet. In time though, with a little luck and hard work, you (and me) will.’”
To read Eilene’s full post, including more details of my personal transition, click here.
Eilene Zimmerman is a journalist based in San Diego, Calif. who writes about a variety of topics, including business, social and political issues and family life. Her work has been published in national magazines and newspapers including The New York Times, Glamour, The San Francisco Chronicle, The Christian Science Monitor, FORTUNE Small Business, CNNMoney.com, CBS MoneyWatch.com, Wired, Harper’s, Salon.com, Slate.com, Psychology Today and others.
Once a month she writes the “Career Couch” column in the Sunday New York Times Business section.
April 7, 2010
In the past week, I must have talked to a hundred people (well maybe that’s a teeny bit inflated) about a term I concocted a few years ago called the “freedom plan.” Quite simply, the freedom plan is a plan you adopt to fund your freedom. In other words, you invest in yourself to pursue your passion.
When I was in career transition from president of an advertising agency to budding author and professional coach, I knew my income was going to take a serious dive during the first year while my new business ramped up. In the old days, I would have found the idea of making less money to be an insurmountable hurdle. And I would have run right back to the profession I knew (and didn’t love) to find another position that was at near or equal pay. In this frame of mind, I was stuck.
If you think about it, anytime a new business or major endeavor is starting up, you can expect to make some sort of investment. This applies to changing careers from one field to another in existing organizations as well. Some people pay for advanced education or training to make a change. That can be expensive. Some entrepreneurs look for outside investors and/or invest in their business themselves. That’s not cheap either. Another way is to accept the idea of temporarily making less income while you get started.
If you view this transition period as a time to invest in yourself, you will get unstuck. You can decide to cut back to the bare essentials for a period of time (six months, one year or whatever you can tolerate) in order to fund your freedom and pursue what you love. Instead of thinking of this time as a period of lack, think of it as liberation.
Here’s an example of how this concept worked for me. In order to fund my transition, I reduced costs by cutting everything that wasn’t essential. Things like: expensive dinners out, pedicures, a new car after mine reached 100,000 miles, cable TV (yes, I cut down to the basic five channels) and extra clothes. If someone invited me to dinner at an expensive restaurant, I’d suggest a more casual (and affordable) place. Occasionally I’d get teased about this, and I’d smile and explain that I was on my freedom plan and would rather pursue my dream than drink expensive wine. I called my savings my “freedom money” and guarded it fiercely. Instead of thinking about it as not having enough money to buy extra things, I thought of it as having a choice. The money I saved was money I could invest in myself… and you can do the same.
The formula is simple:
- Reduce your expenses
- Cut out everything you don’t need
- Change your mindset from lack to liberation
- Pursue what you love
The freedom plan allows you to reevaluate priorities. You can change your focus from having things to having opportunities. Yes it’s a sacrifice, but when in doubt, ask yourself…
“What is it worth to pursue your dream?”
March 17, 2010
Transition in life can be like entering a long, dimly-lit tunnel. One moment you’re driving through comfortable surroundings and next, you find yourself suddenly underground, not knowing exactly when you’ll emerge. Whether you are changing careers, ending a relationship or starting an entirely new chapter in life, it takes confidence, strength and commitment to see the light on the other side.
In Professional Destiny, I talk about the importance of discipline of the mind, body, soul and actions. Here is an abbreviated excerpt from the book about the importance of preparing your mind in order to fast-track to your next destination.
“Align your thoughts with the future you want to create. Your thoughts are weaving your reality, so be aware of the reality your thoughts are creating. Are your thoughts from the past—or from your vision? Dwelling on thoughts from the past can hold you back, while thoughts of the future can begin creating a new reality. Are your thoughts serving you? If not, change them to align with your vision.
Enlarge your view of possibilities. Look openly at things and see all possibility. Don’t see only what your eyes see right in front of you. If you do, you accept limitation. Actively search to see new potential.
Break the chains of negative thought. As soon as you recognize a limiting thought—fear, uncertainty, doubt, limitation, guilt—replace it with your vision. Remind yourself of the progress you’ve already made in the past week, month or year. It helps to write down your accomplishments so you can feel a real sense of satisfaction.
Rally against the fear and stop all self-effacing and tentative behaviors. This means actively weeding out self-doubt. The first step is awareness. Notice when you are back-tracking on yourself, or giving yourself excuses for why your dream might not work out. Squash the idea of sellout plans and how to rationalize them. When you are tempted to compromise and settle for something easier… don’t.
Closely guard your confidence and sense of self-worth. If you feel them slipping, remind yourself of how valuable you are and that your time is precious. If you have moments when you can’t see this for yourself, seek out someone who will see it for you.
Make commitments. Every morning make two commitments: a “To Be” commitment based on who you want to be today and a “To Do” commitment based on what you want to achieve. Your “To Be” commitment sets the tone for the day and your “To Do” list ties to the importance of your goals. Determine what step is necessary to make something happen. As you complete a task, cross it off your list and give yourself a sense of accomplishment.
Value your time. Another important part of discipline is not distracting yourself with appointments or tasks that don’t advance your goals. Your time is your most important asset. Value it.”
Discipline of the mind is essential for getting from point A to point B, especially when you’re in unfamiliar and uncomfortable surroundings. When you equip your mind with an unshakable belief that you can and will move forward, you’ll soon find that the light at the end of the tunnel is much closer than you think.
March 10, 2010
A ship in harbour is safe,
but that is not
what ships are built for.
—William Shed
Following your Professional Destiny is like a ship setting sail on an open sea. It’s a great adventure. To reach your destination requires preparation, guts and a strong commitment. You must be willing to journey into the open sea, beyond the safe harbor of your current surroundings. This requires moving past comfort and complacency. Confident that you are the captain of your ship, you can determine and adjust your course even when outside forces affect your journey. You have a compass, your inner guidance, to direct you. If there’s a storm raging and drama all around you, it may be momentarily drowned out and you’ll likely be tossed around—but that is temporary. With your ship in good working order and your crew (or people who support you) in place you’ll weather the storm and arrive at an exciting new destination. Here are six tips to help you on your way to finding your Professional Destiny:
Prepare yourself for the journey. Like a true professional, you need to practice your gift every day. To do this you must be fit, rested and have your physical and mental capacities about you.
Trim down to the essentials. Make sure your mind and body are fit for the task in front of you. You must have the stamina, strength and essentials that you need—but only the things you need. Leave all the extra weight behind.
Get focused and determined. Growth is a journey, and on any journey you will encounter unforeseen obstacles. Your ability to overcome these barriers will determine whether you succeed. It takes complete dedication, a whatever-it-takes mindset.
Overcome the fear of moving into unknown territory. You might have to struggle when you venture into something new. Worst of all, you don’t know what’s out there. Your mind tells you maybe it’s better to stay right where you are in the known and comfortable. Abandoning your vision seems like the safer, more logical choice, but it comes at a tremendous and incalculable price.
Be responsible. Realize that you are the driver of your life and you have the ability to respond to each situation. Take ownership. Steer the ship. You cannot take a hands-off approach and expect to become a master of your gift.
Dare to be remarkable. If you pattern yourself after others, you will be like others and consequently will be… ordinary. The people who show an absolute conviction to make it, who pick themselves up when they fall, who fully invest their effort, time and energy, are the ones who accomplish extraordinary results.
Do not expect the journey to be short. It never is. You can have the destination in mind, but the journey will take you in directions you never imagined going. Looking back you will see that these were places you needed to go. They were experiences you needed to have, or lessons you needed to master, to prepare you for your destiny—the career you were born for. When considering whether to set sail into new waters, remember a ship isn’t built to stay in the harbor—and neither are we.
March 1, 2010
One doesn’t discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
—Andre Gide
Whenever we’re in the midst of transformation, we can expect to be uncertain. We are leaving behind the old and preparing for the new. This blog post, an excerpt from my book, Professional Destiny, is the next installment of last week’s discussion about Moving Through the Void.
“Get comfortable with uncertainty—it’s the time of our greatest opportunity. A time when all possibilities are open to us. If we hold our vision and resolve to take a step toward it each day, we can be assured that great uncertainty only lasts for a while. This too shall pass.
Oftentimes even when we start our journey, our fear of failing returns and our hope of finding our purpose fades. We have no proof that things will turn out the way we want so we are hesitant, or even unwilling, to take the risk. Sometimes it takes a great deal of pain to get us motivated. Our fearful beliefs immobilize us and slowly but surely kill our spirit. We can feel ourselves being drawn back to the comfort of familiar territory—even though we haven’t been happy there for a long time. We become more anxious and wonder if we are crazy for wanting to do this.
Sometimes fear can be good. It can motivate us into action, especially if we fear our situation will get worse if we don’t act now. But it is not good when it paralyzes us from moving forward. This is the point when we look into the unknown, feel our fear, take a deep breath and step forward anyway. Do it even if you’re scared.
If you are willing to do the thing you are afraid to do, you often do not have to. Face the situation fearlessly and watch it dissipate.
Most things we worry about never actually happen. So worrying is an unproductive emotion that drains our energy and creative forces. Sometimes we just need to find humor in our fears.
The longer we stay in an unfulfilling and unchallenging situation, the more resigned we become—and the more we risk losing our individuality, unique gifts and edge.”
It’s essential to catch ourselves when we feel the urge to stay complacent. While change can involve letting go of things that are familiar, the cost of settling in an unfulfilling situation may greater than we originally think. So, while uncertainty might not feel good at the moment—get comfortable—it can open our eyes to things we wouldn’t normally see and may turn out to be a blessing in disguise.
February 24, 2010
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