Tag: career change
The following is an article I recently wrote for More.com. It’s about our insatiable desire beyond stability for “things”—and how this can stifle our quest to reinvent ourselves.
“There are two kinds of hunger—the hunger for food and the hunger for more. I’ve been taught to look past what I have to what I don’t have. I have a car, but I’m always noticing the car I’d rather have. I have 12 shirts, but I’m always noticing the 13th shirt that I want to buy. We’re suffering from a profound lack of relationship with enough—we are about what we don’t have.”
—Dan Karslake, Documentary filmmaker of Every Three Seconds, an upcoming film about ending world hunger
No doubt about it, there’s great beauty in having enough. It gives us the freedom to reinvent ourselves. If we’re living at a survival level and spending most of our time worrying about paying our bills and meeting basic needs, it’s quite hard to focus on finding our purpose and pursuing our life’s work. As Abraham Maslow pointed out in his famous Hierarchy of Needs pyramid, we must first satisfy our needs for survival and safety before we can address the higher level of self actualization.
Yet how many of us actually know what “enough” is? If there were mile posts on our journey, that marked “survival,” “basic comfort” and “excess,” would we even know when we past each point? Probably not. As this excerpt from my book, Professional Destiny, discusses the cost of “more” can be quite high.
“A trap that we are all susceptible to, especially in the Western world, is that we overlook the concept of having enough. We come to never fully enjoy what we have because we are always thinking about what we don’t yet have (a nicer home or car, more possessions, a bigger company, more money, finer art). This sense of wanting more is an insatiable hunger. It is poison to our soul and kills new, creative possibilities because it locks us into a pattern. It might make our life more comfortable but it doesn’t bring us true fulfillment, which only comes when we feel like we are making a difference in a genuine, meaningful way.
You can be financially successful, a respected leader in your profession, be admired for your status, have beautiful possessions and a lovely family—but still feel a nagging sense of emptiness.
I find that most people who have made it in their career and have achieved success have just about everything they want materially, but do not feel fulfilled. They want to venture out and make a difference, but are immobilized by fear and the need to have a familiar sense of security, stability and enough…
Security often means that they do not take risks or allow themselves to be open to new possibilities. Many have lost the concept of having ‘enough’ and cannot accept the idea of making less money for a while, even if it makes them happier. They cannot escape the money trap and therefore are not free. Because of the overwhelming need for survival, even beyond the point of enough, we ignore our deepest yearnings and continue in a job that is not fulfilling—or even worse, a job that is sapping our lifeblood and essence. We think we are making a living, but in reality our spirit is slowly dying.”
Maybe it’s time to take a fresh look at the hidden—and not so hidden—costs of our addiction to more and how it hinders our ability to reinvent ourselves. If we’re able to recognize when enough is enough and get a grip on that insatiable hunger, we just may be surprised to discover a fulfilling, new—and different—richness in our lives.
December 7, 2010
When pursuing your Professional Destiny, the difference between knowing where you want to go and actually getting there is discipline. In my book, I talk about the four types of discipline—of the mind, body, soul and actions—that are essential for maintaining focus and staying on course. In an earlier post, I’ve written about discipline of the mind. Yet to accomplish anything great, you must also make sure both your mind—and body—are fit for the task. Here is an excerpt from Professional Destiny about how to achieve discipline of the body:
- Hone yourself for your best performance. Like a true professional, you need to practice your gift every day. To do this you must be fit, rested and have your physical and mental capacities about you. Avoid substances that numb your mind and distract you from your goals. Focus on being alert and clear.
- Get energized. To pursue your passion, you must have energy and be strong enough to be in the places you need to be. Your body is what gets you there so it is important to take care of it. Healthy food is like high-performance fuel. Your engine will work better with it. You need energy to go the extra mile and accomplish your goals.
- Get active. Physical activity and exercise gets you revved up. During any physical training you develop good habits that serve you in life such as developing mental toughness to get through pain, becoming laser-focused and forcing yourself to continue even when you feel like quitting.
- Do not see yourself as trapped inside a limited body. Your greatest driver is your will—your will to succeed. With a strong will you can accomplish almost anything.
- Be physically and mentally prepared for a race of learning and doing. Prioritize your action items and plot your course. Meet your appointments. Jump over any hurdles that threaten to hold you back so you can put them behind you. And then go full speed.
- Lose the weight. This refers not so much to your physical weight, as your energetic weight. Streamline your relationships and your possessions and take only the essentials that you need. This means pulling the plug on draining or unhealthy relationships and breaking the bonds to unnecessary material possessions that keep you anchored.
In a sense, making significant change is like preparing for a marathon. It takes commitment, stamina and a huge dose of physical and mental discipline. Now the question is… are you ready for the run?
November 9, 2010
One doesn’t discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
—Andre Gide
Last night I gave a Professional Destiny talk at the Stanford Women’s Group of the East Bay. (Thanks to Christie Jordan for inviting the group to her home and being such a truly phenomenal host!)
When you’re with a group of such talented and astute women you can expect to get some great questions. And I did! One of my favorites was when I was asked about my scariest point of transition from corporate executive to consultant, coach and author.
It brought me back right to the heart of the matter.
My answer was that the first time I made the change was the hardest—by far—because I had no idea what to expect. It’s uncomfortable to step away from the known and into the unknown. It’s like a ship leaving harbor to venture out into the open sea.
So many of us are bound by golden handcuffs that make us feel secure, even if we’re not entirely happy. We don’t know exactly who we will be without our work identity and reputation. We don’t know what our future will look like, and we’re not sure how to proceed. We wonder if we will ever make money again. Or, if we’ll even recognize ourselves when we’re through. It’s a disconcerting journey—and definitely not for the faint of heart.
One of the hardest things to get used to is not knowing how long our term of transition from one point to the next will last. This applies to many life changes including a change in profession. For example, if we’re in the midst of career transition (whether voluntary or involuntary) we often have no idea how long we’ll have to be in this provisional existence. When will we cross the sea, so to speak, and get from here to there?
If we could know we would have a happy ending tomorrow, we would be fine. Yet, there’s no known date for things to get better and we wonder if our current uncertainty will be endless. But it’s all part of the journey. And that brings me to another favorite quote:
“A ship in harbor is safe, but that’s not what ships are built for.”—William Shed
When contemplating change, sometimes we simply have to remember, that just as ships are not built to stay in the harbor, neither are we.
October 21, 2010
Last week in one of my coaching sessions, my client and I had a riveting discussion about financial survival vs. doing what you love. This incredible individual is an extremely talented and capable person, but has unfortunately been out of a job for a while. She now feels like she’s reached the point of no return where she has to take any job to pay her bills and was deeply troubled that she was giving up and selling out.
She recently read Professional Destiny so I reminded her of the Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs discussion included right up front in chapter three. It’s essential to remember that our needs build upon each other. To demonstrate this, Maslow presents the hierarchy of needs as a triangle. At the base are Physiological (physical survival needs) and Safety (the need for security and stability). These needs MUST be met before you can address the higher level of Self Actualization at the top. As I mentioned in an earlier post When Temporary Work Leads to Your Life’s Work, if you’re living at a survival level and spending most of your time worrying about paying your bills and meeting basic needs, it’s quite hard to focus on finding your life’s work. If you’re anxious on a daily basis, you may want to consider taking a temporary job to pay the bills while you focus on finding your ideal career. In other words, it’s important to find a way to generate enough income so that you’re not in turmoil over a lack of it.
Even if an opportunity isn’t your idea of the perfect career, it can help you build a foundation while you focus on other things. You’ll be more effective and creative, if you’re not anxiety-ridden and struggling to survive.
If you find yourself in a financial crisis situation, my advice is twofold:
1. Take a survival job—and feel good about it! There is absolutely no shame in taking care of yourself. In fact, it’s smart. It’s incredibly hard to find your Professional Destiny if you’re beginning to panic about how to pay your rent, support your children or put food on the table. Take a position to ease the stress and meet your basic needs for survival and safety. But don’t stop there…
2. Invest time in your future. Find a minimum of three hours a week (in the evenings or weekends) to pursue your passion and develop your skills. It could be that you attend night school or vocational training. It could be that you build your website for a business that you want to start and begin building a community or customer base. Or it could be that you volunteer in an organization that you’re passionate about. As you learn the ropes, you’ll meet new people and build new contacts in the exact field you’re interested in. Who knows? You may be the next one hired!
As Maslow suggests, once your survival needs are met you are free to focus on your full self expression. Then you’ll have more energy and confidence to find work that truly energizes you, taps into your creative energy and reawakens your spirit. The path to your Professional Destiny isn’t always an expressway, but with determination and persistence you will get there.
September 21, 2010
Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.
—Seneca
When good fortune strikes it’s best to be prepared. If you are, you’ll be able to capitalize on a golden opportunity when it comes along. While the process of discovering the career you were born for is incredibly rewarding, it also takes a great deal of discipline. Discipline can make the difference between knowing where you want to go and actually getting there.
The following is an excerpt from Professional Destiny of effective ways to be prepare yourself for that opportunity you’ve been waiting for:
Prioritize. Determine the things that need to be done in order to meet your goal and prioritize them in order of importance. Make time to practice your gift every day, whatever it is, by reading, studying or building a network of people who can support your efforts, inspire you and help move you along.
Be decisive. When you face a choice and need to make a decision, choose what means the most to you, even if it’s difficult. Deciding is the first step. Even if you make a wrong decision, you are at least making movement and gaining experience. You can quickly correct it. Remember: not deciding is deciding. It is deciding to do nothing.
Take action. Discipline of action and procrastination are polar opposites. Conquer the resistance that tends to want to put short-term gratification first. Get determined and weed out any urge to procrastinate as soon as you feel it take hold. Then walk your talk and have your actions match your commitments.
Handle the difficulties. Life is tough, and having discipline means that you handle the difficulties. After all, problems don’t go away by themselves. Ignoring unpleasant tasks is an act of procrastination. A natural tendency is to want to handle the more pleasant tasks at hand first, but that just keeps the problems looming out on the horizon, like a big, depressing weight pulling you down. It can affect your mood, your health and your sense of initiative. Difficult situations must be addressed head-on or remain a block to your growth and development. When you face a significant challenge, develop an action plan and write the steps down. Then force yourself to tackle part of it, or all of it, before you do anything else—especially the things that are easier. The benefit is that you can put the unpleasant things behind you and enjoy a sense of accomplishment.
Get determined. Growth is a journey, and on any journey you will encounter unforeseen obstacles. Your ability to overcome these barriers will determine whether you succeed. It takes complete dedication, a whatever-it-takes mindset.
Practice, practice, practice. Practice your gift every day and develop your skills. Be willing to be a student and take time to learn. People who become the best at what they do devote time to their chosen profession. Set aside a chunk of time every day. This is easy if you do what you love, and love what you do.
Be responsible. Realize that you are the driver of your life and you have the ability to respond to each situation. Take ownership. You cannot take a hands-off approach and expect to become a master of your gift.
Dare to be remarkable. If you pattern yourself after others, you will be like others and consequently will be… ordinary. The people who show an absolute conviction to make it, who pick themselves up when they fall, who fully invest their effort, time and energy, are the ones who accomplish extraordinary results.
September 8, 2010
Rarely do people say “hey, things are going really well… I think it’s time to change.” Most people don’t change when they are feeling totally comfortable.
We change when we are uncomfortable.
It could be due to disappointment with a current situation; it could be that we feel our talents are not fully expressed or our abilities are not appreciated; or it could be that we have a burning passion to try something new that just won’t let us stay complacent. Whatever it is, change takes commitment and a great deal of discipline. The following is an excerpt from my book, Professional Destiny about how change can require us to stretch ourselves beyond our comfort zone:
“Change is unavoidable. Reluctance to adapt to change will only keep you stuck. Growth demands the willingness to temporarily surrender your immediate sense of security. An unwillingness to sacrifice will hold you back. If you think you can achieve something great without sacrifice, you will stay glued to where you are, because rarely is this the case. To move forward you may have to give up safe but unrewarding work. Stay receptive and be willing to reinvent yourself to take advantage of new possibilities and shed things that are no longer working.
Keep growing, learning and working to improve yourself. Whatever gifts, skills, experience and resources you have, keep improving them. Think about how different our lives would be if we looked at every day as an exciting opportunity to learn, move one step forward and contribute.
In order to grow, we need to stretch ourselves—and it isn’t always comfortable. Expect this; it is part of the process. We need to get out of our comfort zone for extraordinary things to happen. The point is to stretch to where we feel uncomfortable (this means we are charting new territory), but we don’t need to stretch to the point of agony. This would paralyze us and be unproductive. If we are to continue growing, the need to stretch never ends. But if we look back later, we will discover that these times of stretching enabled us to make a change and reach new heights, and we will look back fondly at those times.”
August 18, 2010
Last night I had the great pleasure of listening to an interview with John O’Donohue, author of the book Anam Cara (and a great inspiration for the ideas in Professional Destiny). The interview was recorded with Krista Tippett of NPR shortly before he died in 2008 at the age of 52. O’Donohue talks about how each of us has a destiny—something to do here that can’t be done by anyone else. He says when you discover the necessity that brought you here, your gift and giftedness come alive. This newfound urgency of living and purpose rekindles your creativity and quickens your heart. Here is an excerpt from one of his final interviews:
“Since we spend over one third of our lives in the workplace, one of the loneliest things we can find is someone who is in the wrong kind of work, who shouldn’t be doing what they’re doing. They should be doing something else, yet haven’t the courage to get up and leave and make a new possibility for themselves.
But it is lovely when you find someone who is doing exactly what should be doing and whose work is an expression of their inner gift. By allowing us to witness that gift and by bringing it out, they are actually providing an incredible service to us all.
The gifts that are given to us are not for us alone, but they are also for the community and they are to be offered and shared.”
When you find your purpose, express your giftedness and practice it every day in your profession, you are doing your life’s work. You’ll feel a deep-seated sense of satisfaction and will positively impact others in a most meaningful way.
So perhaps it’s time to ask yourself… what is keeping you from your Professional Destiny?
August 11, 2010
Following your Professional Destiny doesn’t require a cold-turkey switch from less satisfying work to your dream job—especially when you’re starting out. Many people struggle with the idea that they can’t quit the work they’re doing to follow their passion. They have bills to pay. Or if they’re out of a job, they can’t rely solely on the income generated from the first years of doing something new and different. All of these concerns are real and valid. Although I wholeheartedly encourage people to go for it, there’s no need to be a Professional Destiny purist—especially if it’s painful!
If you’re living at a survival level and spending most of your time worrying about paying your bills and meeting basic needs, it’s quite hard to focus on finding your life’s work. If you’re anxious on a daily basis, you may want to consider taking a temporary job to pay the bills while you focus on finding your ideal career. In other words, it’s important to find a way to generate enough income so that you’re not in turmoil over a lack of it.
Even if an opportunity isn’t your idea of the perfect career, it can help you build a foundation while you focus on other things. You’ll be more effective and creative, if you’re not anxiety-ridden and struggling to survive.
Taking a role that’s in your comfort zone may even have hidden benefits—you might meet an important new person that will help you later. Or you may have multiple interests, as I do, and they can be surprisingly synergistic to bring about a great outcome. For example, after completing the manuscript for Professional Destiny, I went back into advertising for a year and met our then Chief Creative Officer and now famous blogger—Ken Segall—who was instrumental with the design and editing of my book. Going back to a position where you’re capable and comfortable can also provide you with additional skills, funding and opportunities that are a step in the right direction. I also greatly enjoyed the benefit of a steady paycheck and it helped me fund the launch of Professional Destiny and re-establish my consulting and coaching business. Plus while I was in advertising, I met many other people I enjoyed and now work with and had several opportunities to expand my skills and experience. The challenges and trials of the particular role I had turned out to be well worth it.
Easing your stress level with compensation that you can count on, helps you to feel good about yourself and radiate enthusiasm for looking for a new position that’s a better match for you. When you exude confidence, enthusiasm and prosperity into your new endeavor, you’ll be far more effective than trying to get started while you’re feeling poor, unsuccessful and fearful.
The trick is to make sure that an interim position doesn’t take all your time and energy so that you don’t have any left to focus on work that truly energizes you.
Of course, you certainly can choose to go cold-turkey into your Professional Destiny too, but that’s another blog post…
August 4, 2010
If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams,
and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined,
he will meet with success unexpected in common hours.
—Henry David Thoreau
What happens when you reach a point in your career when you’re no longer fulfilled by what you do? The moment might come when you find yourself in a role that once challenged you and stoked your fire—so to speak—but now is no longer interesting. You realize that you’re merely going through the motions to collect a paycheck. Or it could be that you’re suffering from Career Dissonance and you actually still enjoy your craft—you just don’t like the environment you’re practicing it in. For whatever reason, the fulfillment you once felt is gone and instead of a thrill—it’s become a drill.
People who allow themselves to become complacent may enjoy tangible benefits such as bringing home a steady paycheck, saving for the future, possibly having prestige and power (and these are very real, positive, essential things) but they may be lacking a sense of purpose. And this can cause a persistent, nagging feeling of dissatisfaction.
It’s difficult to have a sense of purpose when you sacrifice your deepest yearnings, unexpressed creativity and natural talents because you’re afraid to take a risk or are constantly worried about the future. As Thoreau says, if you advance confidently in the direction of your dreams—and the key word is confidently—you will have success. Don’t expect it to happen overnight, but do expect it to happen. I remember reading the incredible book Three Cups of Tea and marveling that it took Greg Mortenson ten years to start having substantial support for building schools in Pakistan and Afghanistan. In 1993, Mortenson was a self-described bumbling, failed K2 mountain climber who wanted to build a school for the people who helped him in Pakistan. He started with very humble beginnings by writing mostly unanswered fundraising letters on a typewriter, going on wild goose chases to meet unlikely donors and giving talks to audiences of only 1-2 people in REI. Now his organization has built over 130 schools serving 58,000 students, Three Cups of Tea is a multi-million copy bestseller and his talks attract thousands of people at a time. Most of all, Mortenson is achieving his mission of building schools for children (mostly girls) and helping them to better their lives. He has a satisfying sense of purpose.
Would you and I have that kind of perseverance, stamina, faith and incredible drive to keep going for ten years before we achieved significant signs of momentum? The answer is—No—if we weren’t filled with passion for what we were doing. And—Yes—if our inner sense of purpose energized us and gave us the fortitude to take the next step.
Success is defined in many ways. It can bring a great deal of money as you pursue something you love and you’re good at, but it might also bring other benefits such as more freedom, more time with your family and most of all—a wonderful feeling of fulfillment.
Where there’s a will, there’s a way. The path might have obstacles, road blocks and dead-ends, but to give up means that you are marching to the drill of life (1-2-3-4!), not experiencing the thrill of life. Everyone wants to feel significant, important and unique. We want to feel like we have accomplished something that matters—even if it’s only to us. We want to feel challenged and to re-ignite our passion and creativity. That is the true difference between a job and our Professional Destiny.
June 29, 2010
What would you do if
you weren’t afraid?
—Spencer Johnson,
Who Moved My Cheese?
In any undertaking of substance, you can’t expect yourself to be fearless—we all have fear. The secret is to be courageous and not let your fear win over. Having courage is not the absence of fear but the drive and the strength to keep going in spite of it. Ultimately, your desire and belief in your vision must be stronger. That’s what you lean on.
The following is an excerpt from Professional Destiny about the difference between faith and fear:
“Fear shows itself all along our journey. The more important our purpose is and the more remarkable we are called to be, the more we can expect to encounter fear. Anyone who is remarkable has overcome great difficulty and fear. If this weren’t the case there would be more remarkable people—those who stand out as truly extraordinary. Most people choose to be ordinary. They play it safe and do just enough to get by.
What separates the extraordinary from the ordinary are those people who choose faith over fear and practice discipline every day in achieving their purpose. Faith, in this sense, means a passionate, unbending belief in your vision. Here are some things to know about faith:
- Faith is believing in success. It’s believing in a friendly creative force bigger than yourself, a force that will help you. Fear is inverted faith—it’s believing in failure.
- Faith looks forward. It’s believing in your vision even when there’s no proof. You may not know all the answers, but you know you will take the next step.
- Faith is the tool to overcome fear. Truly remarkable people call on it every day and guide their lives with it.
- With faith, you don’t get to know how it gets done. You don’t get to know what is going to happen either. “How” or “what” are not the questions—you just need to know that you are going to do it.
- Faith and commitment get you there. If you falter on either, the journey will take longer.
Expect that the process of moving along your path will throw challenges at you. It’s part of the package. It’s the hand you are dealt. When you think of it this way, you won’t get mired in pessimism or misery. Or if you feel it, which is natural, you won’t stay there for long. You know it’s just something you need to get through. And you will.”
June 14, 2010
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“There are two kinds of hunger—the hunger for food and the hunger for more. I’ve been taught to look past what I have to what I don’t have. I have a car, but I’m always noticing the car I’d rather have. I have 12 shirts, but I’m always noticing the 13th shirt that I want to buy. We’re suffering from a profound lack of relationship with enough—we are about what we don’t have.”
