A couple of weeks ago I was interviewed by Eilene Zimmerman, a journalist who writes for many national publications including the New York Times, The Christian Science Monitor and FORTUNE Small Business. This interview was for her personal blog, takingmyownadvice.com, which is a warm and engaging chronicle of her journey through transition, as a mother and soon-to-be ex-wife, as she avidly seeks a career and financial education.
Here is an excerpt of our discussion as she quizzed me about my experiences and the Professsional Destiny approach:
“Here it is April 1st and it’s no joke, I can’t figure out if I really need to talk to a coach. I’m torn, probably, because I spoke last week with Valerie Hausladen, and that felt like a coaching session in and of itself. Of course it wasn’t, it was an interview about her new book, Professional Destiny: Discover The Career You Were Born For. Her take-away is this: ‘Anyone can make a change at any time.’ But she also realizes change takes time. Her book is about transitions, something I’m interested in myself, as I’m in transition at this very moment.
Hausladen’s story is anything but straightforward, and that’s the rub. Making changes in your life can be tough, can take a while, and the path isn’t always linear…
Hausladen hadn’t changed her life overnight–it took a decade. She had always wanted to write a book and finally did it. She became a coach and started her own management consulting firm–Edge Communication Group in Austin.
She’s not suggesting that people up and quit their well-paying (or, in this economy, even their not-so-well-paying) jobs, but she is saying take that first step. ‘If you can’t leave your job, start doing one or two things a day towards what you really want to do. Connect with others in the industry where you want to be, get some more information about changing jobs or careers, ask for resources. Just do something towards that goal every day,’ she says. The first step–whatever it is–doesn’t have to be right, says Hausladen. It just has to BE. You have to take it and then if it’s wrong, you learn from it. But many of us are almost paralyzed by the choices we have–or think we have. You have to pick something or you’ll never pick anything.
Even if you haven’t worked in fifteen years and your teaching credential has long since expired, or the last time you worked in HR they didn’t have computers, don’t be discouraged. Maybe start by volunteering. Or by simply going online and researching the industry. Calling a school to see what that nurse practitioner program entails. Etc.
Maybe it sounds just a little corny when Hausladen says, ‘Take the first step and the next one will show itself.” But she’s right–you just can’t see the whole destination yet. In time though, with a little luck and hard work, you (and me) will.’”
To read Eilene’s full post, including more details of my personal transition, click here.
Eilene Zimmerman is a journalist based in San Diego, Calif. who writes about a variety of topics, including business, social and political issues and family life. Her work has been published in national magazines and newspapers including The New York Times, Glamour, The San Francisco Chronicle, The Christian Science Monitor, FORTUNE Small Business, CNNMoney.com, CBS MoneyWatch.com, Wired, Harper’s, Salon.com, Slate.com, Psychology Today and others.
Once a month she writes the “Career Couch” column in the Sunday New York Times Business section.
A few weeks ago, I had the amazing opportunity to take part in the inaugural TEDx Austin event. I’ll freely admit that if I hadn’t been sitting down, I just might have been knocked off my feet by Steven Tomlinson’s talk. It was about how to play big—authentically. As with Daniel Pink’s discussion about the Surprising Science of Motivation, the insightful concepts of how to play big were, again, absolute music to my Professional Destiny ears!
Tomlinson is a business educator, performer and playwright—a unique and interesting combination. He began his talk with a story about how he sought advice at age 28 from a wise professor at a local seminary who was known for giving insight and tough love. Tomlinson loved three things: business education, theology and theatre, and was seeking a concrete, specific answer about which one to pursue in order to make a living. The “answer” he got was not what he expected—it was “don’t discard—pursue all three.”
As Tomlinson experimented with this advice, he began to see connections and perspectives he hadn’t noticed before. Then, after years of first-hand experience, he condensed the concept of playing BIG to be about five things:
Practice—spend some time (two hours per week) wholeheartedly engaged in each of the things you love
Paying attention—let the things you love talk to each other and observe what begins to happen in your life that is unique and powerful
Not discarding—be determined to keep all your gifts in play and trust that there is some wisdom that will start to bubble to the surface
Leading with what you love—find your calling where your gifts meet the world’s deep need
Making degrees of freedom—simplify in order to free yourself to do the work the world wants you to do. For more ideas on this see, The Freedom Plan.
As I wrote in Professional Destiny, “A job is something we do to earn a living. Oftentimes it is too small for our spirit. Our life’s work is a mighty undertaking that challenges us, taps into our creative energy and reawakens our spirit. It is our work with a capital W. Once we start on the path, the urgency of this work is bigger than us. Our passion and creativity are ignited.”
Finding your own Professional Destiny takes commitment and a deep yearning to express your unique gifts in a way that matters. It’s an exciting journey. Playing big requires creating small ways of demonstrating what you can do well—and letting them prosper and grow. When Tomlinson delivered this presentation to the TEDx crowd, he received a standing ovation. The message resonates at some level with all of us. Watch the video clip and see if you’re inspired—you may just be prompted to give a standing ovation of your own.
Where are you comfortable in your work? Do you consider yourself a great strategist looking into the future, or do you like to perfect things and make them hum? In the following excerpt from my book, Professional Destiny, I define two common types of leaders: the Visionary and the Master of Operations. Check out the indicators and see which type best describes you:
.
Visionary
Master of Operations
Sees potential
Takes the vision and makes
things happen
Sees the future
Turns ideas into hard and fast reality
Knows what to do next
Knows what to do now
Great strategist
Great operationally
Sets and drives the vision
Shows results
Likes to build from scratch
More comfortable growing an existing idea, rather than developing one from scratch
Has little patience for process and day-to-day operations; is drained by them
Likes analysis and best practices, and thrives establishing process and operations
Is the inventor who steers the organization in new directions
Is the glue that holds the organization
together and allows it to sustainably prosper
For any company to reach beyond a certain size, it needs both of these types at the top as well as leading each major department or initiative.
A Visionary typically starts an organization, takes it to a certain size, and then confusion and chaos tend to creep in. At this time he or she must find the Master of Operations to get to the next level. In many of my consulting sessions, I worked with people in the top of their organizations to help them determine if they were a Visionary or a Master of Operations.
A Visionary is often the person who starts the organization and for this purpose, let’s assume becomes the CEO. This person is the futuristic leader and the big-picture thinker. Sometimes a Master of Operations starts an organization and can thrive to a certain level, but typically the idea behind the company already exists. A franchise is a good example—the idea for the business is already established, but a strong operational person can make it successful. The Master of Operations is the person best suited to run day-to-day operations. They are detail- and process-oriented and have the gift of getting things done. Rarely is a person a strong Visionary and Master of Operations, yet both are necessary as an organization expands. An organization that has a strong Visionary and Master of Operations often experiences a great deal of growth. Ironically, a common mistake that these organizations make is to believe that the two roles can be interchanged. When the Visionary retires or steps down, the Master of Operations who has been “groomed” often steps in to take his or her place. This rarely works because the Master of Operations cannot be taught to be the Visionary. It is not his or her gift. Similarly, a true Visionary rarely has the patience, interest and discipline for everyday details to keep the company on track.”
Long-term, you will only be motivated if you are doing something you want to do and can see yourself happily sustaining the role. If you’ve ever found yourself in a position that asked you to be something you are not, you know how this feels. You become de-energized and deflated, and oftentimes you cease to be successful as you become less enthusiastic about your role. So take the time to reflect on your skills and be honest about where you best fit. Then watch your satisfaction level—and your contribution soar.
In the past week, I must have talked to a hundred people (well maybe that’s a teeny bit inflated) about a term I concocted a few years ago called the “freedom plan.” Quite simply, the freedom plan is a plan you adopt to fund your freedom. In other words, you invest in yourself to pursue your passion.
When I was in career transition from president of an advertising agency to budding author and professional coach, I knew my income was going to take a serious dive during the first year while my new business ramped up. In the old days, I would have found the idea of making less money to be an insurmountable hurdle. And I would have run right back to the profession I knew (and didn’t love) to find another position that was at near or equal pay. In this frame of mind, I was stuck.
If you think about it, anytime a new business or major endeavor is starting up, you can expect to make some sort of investment. This applies to changing careers from one field to another in existing organizations as well. Some people pay for advanced education or training to make a change. That can be expensive. Some entrepreneurs look for outside investors and/or invest in their business themselves. That’s not cheap either. Another way is to accept the idea of temporarily making less income while you get started.
If you view this transition period as a time to invest in yourself, you will get unstuck. You can decide to cut back to the bare essentials for a period of time (six months, one year or whatever you can tolerate) in order to fund your freedom and pursue what you love. Instead of thinking of this time as a period of lack, think of it as liberation.
Here’s an example of how this concept worked for me. In order to fund my transition, I reduced costs by cutting everything that wasn’t essential. Things like: expensive dinners out, pedicures, a new car after mine reached 100,000 miles, cable TV (yes, I cut down to the basic five channels) and extra clothes. If someone invited me to dinner at an expensive restaurant, I’d suggest a more casual (and affordable) place. Occasionally I’d get teased about this, and I’d smile and explain that I was on my freedom plan and would rather pursue my dream than drink expensive wine. I called my savings my “freedom money” and guarded it fiercely. Instead of thinking about it as not having enough money to buy extra things, I thought of it as having a choice. The money I saved was money I could invest in myself… and you can do the same.
The formula is simple:
Reduce your expenses
Cut out everything you don’t need
Change your mindset from lack to liberation
Pursue what you love
The freedom plan allows you to reevaluate priorities. You can change your focus from having things to having opportunities. Yes it’s a sacrifice, but when in doubt, ask yourself…
Transition in life can be like entering a long, dimly-lit tunnel. One moment you’re driving through comfortable surroundings and next, you find yourself suddenly underground, not knowing exactly when you’ll emerge. Whether you are changing careers, ending a relationship or starting an entirely new chapter in life, it takes confidence, strength and commitment to see the light on the other side.
In Professional Destiny, I talk about the importance of discipline of the mind, body, soul and actions. Here is an abbreviated excerpt from the book about the importance of preparing your mind in order to fast-track to your next destination.
“Align your thoughts with the future you want to create. Your thoughts are weaving your reality, so be aware of the reality your thoughts are creating. Are your thoughts from the past—or from your vision? Dwelling on thoughts from the past can hold you back, while thoughts of the future can begin creating a new reality. Are your thoughts serving you? If not, change them to align with your vision.
Enlarge your view of possibilities. Look openly at things and see all possibility. Don’t see only what your eyes see right in front of you. If you do, you accept limitation. Actively search to see new potential.
Break the chains of negative thought. As soon as you recognize a limiting thought—fear, uncertainty, doubt, limitation, guilt—replace it with your vision. Remind yourself of the progress you’ve already made in the past week, month or year. It helps to write down your accomplishments so you can feel a real sense of satisfaction.
Rally against the fear and stop all self-effacing and tentative behaviors. This means actively weeding out self-doubt. The first step is awareness. Notice when you are back-tracking on yourself, or giving yourself excuses for why your dream might not work out. Squash the idea of sellout plans and how to rationalize them. When you are tempted to compromise and settle for something easier… don’t.
Closely guard your confidence and sense of self-worth. If you feel them slipping, remind yourself of how valuable you are and that your time is precious. If you have moments when you can’t see this for yourself, seek out someone who will see it for you.
Make commitments. Every morning make two commitments: a “To Be” commitment based on who you want to be today and a “To Do” commitment based on what you want to achieve. Your “To Be” commitment sets the tone for the day and your “To Do” list ties to the importance of your goals. Determine what step is necessary to make something happen. As you complete a task, cross it off your list and give yourself a sense of accomplishment.
Value your time. Another important part of discipline is not distracting yourself with appointments or tasks that don’t advance your goals. Your time is your most important asset. Value it.”
Discipline of the mind is essential for getting from point A to point B, especially when you’re in unfamiliar and uncomfortable surroundings. When you equip your mind with an unshakable belief that you can and will move forward, you’ll soon find that the light at the end of the tunnel is much closer than you think.
Just over a week ago, I had an opportunity to attend a TEDx event in Austin. It was one of those rare “shatter-any-remnants-of-small-thinking” kinds of days. One speaker after another spoke to us about big ideas ranging from overcoming cancer, to new space frontiers, to the advances in human genomics. Then came an afternoon talk made by Daniel Pink from the global TED conference about the surprising science of motivation. The whole discussion was compelling, but in the second half of his speech, he outlined the pillars of a new operating system for businesses that were absolute music to my Professional Destiny ears. These three fundamental concepts are:
Autonomy—The urge to direct our own lives Mastery—The desire to get better and better in something that matters Purpose—The yearning to do what we do in service larger than ourselves
Pink used what he called “true facts” to make the case that these intrinsic motivators work much better than the old fashioned carrot-and-stick approach that most companies still use.
Autonomy, mastery and purpose are part of the journey to your Professional Destiny. In my book, I discuss how people use their natural gifts to become masters at their chosen field, and how fulfilling it is to excel in something that really matters to you and others. Intrinsic motivation occurs when people can fully express their talent and become part of something larger. Here is a list of indicators from the first chapter that will help you recognize at the individual level when this happens:
You are engaged
You feel on track
You feel honest
You become lighter
You are committed
You operate with compassion
You make a contribution
You are fulfilled
You make a difference
On the corporate level, the feeling of autonomy and empowerment is essential to keeping people engaged (see earlier post on Why Most Corporations Homogenize Remarkable People, Part 3: Empowerment vs. Marginalization). When people are fully engaged and properly motivated, inventions and breakthroughs occur. There is clearly a new model for business that works better than the old. And it’s great to see a lawyer, the London School of Economics and the Federal Reserve Bank all come together to make the case!
A ship in harbour is safe,
but that is not
what ships are built for. —William Shed
Following your Professional Destiny is like a ship setting sail on an open sea. It’s a great adventure. To reach your destination requires preparation, guts and a strong commitment. You must be willing to journey into the open sea, beyond the safe harbor of your current surroundings. This requires moving past comfort and complacency. Confident that you are the captain of your ship, you can determine and adjust your course even when outside forces affect your journey. You have a compass, your inner guidance, to direct you. If there’s a storm raging and drama all around you, it may be momentarily drowned out and you’ll likely be tossed around—but that is temporary. With your ship in good working order and your crew (or people who support you) in place you’ll weather the storm and arrive at an exciting new destination. Here are six tips to help you on your way to finding your Professional Destiny:
Prepare yourself for the journey. Like a true professional, you need to practice your gift every day. To do this you must be fit, rested and have your physical and mental capacities about you.
Trim down to the essentials. Make sure your mind and body are fit for the task in front of you. You must have the stamina, strength and essentials that you need—but only the things you need. Leave all the extra weight behind.
Get focused and determined. Growth is a journey, and on any journey you will encounter unforeseen obstacles. Your ability to overcome these barriers will determine whether you succeed. It takes complete dedication, a whatever-it-takes mindset.
Overcome the fear of moving into unknown territory. You might have to struggle when you venture into something new. Worst of all, you don’t know what’s out there. Your mind tells you maybe it’s better to stay right where you are in the known and comfortable. Abandoning your vision seems like the safer, more logical choice, but it comes at a tremendous and incalculable price.
Be responsible. Realize that you are the driver of your life and you have the ability to respond to each situation. Take ownership. Steer the ship. You cannot take a hands-off approach and expect to become a master of your gift.
Dare to be remarkable. If you pattern yourself after others, you will be like others and consequently will be… ordinary. The people who show an absolute conviction to make it, who pick themselves up when they fall, who fully invest their effort, time and energy, are the ones who accomplish extraordinary results.
Do not expect the journey to be short. It never is. You can have the destination in mind, but the journey will take you in directions you never imagined going. Looking back you will see that these were places you needed to go. They were experiences you needed to have, or lessons you needed to master, to prepare you for your destiny—the career you were born for. When considering whether to set sail into new waters, remember a ship isn’t built to stay in the harbor—and neither are we.
One doesn’t discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
—Andre Gide
Whenever we’re in the midst of transformation, we can expect to be uncertain. We are leaving behind the old and preparing for the new. This blog post, an excerpt from my book, Professional Destiny, is the next installment of last week’s discussion about Moving Through the Void.
“Get comfortable with uncertainty—it’s the time of our greatest opportunity. A time when all possibilities are open to us. If we hold our vision and resolve to take a step toward it each day, we can be assured that great uncertainty only lasts for a while. This too shall pass.
Oftentimes even when we start our journey, our fear of failing returns and our hope of finding our purpose fades. We have no proof that things will turn out the way we want so we are hesitant, or even unwilling, to take the risk. Sometimes it takes a great deal of pain to get us motivated. Our fearful beliefs immobilize us and slowly but surely kill our spirit. We can feel ourselves being drawn back to the comfort of familiar territory—even though we haven’t been happy there for a long time. We become more anxious and wonder if we are crazy for wanting to do this.
Sometimes fear can be good. It can motivate us into action, especially if we fear our situation will get worse if we don’t act now. But it is not good when it paralyzes us from moving forward. This is the point when we look into the unknown, feel our fear, take a deep breath and step forward anyway. Do it even if you’re scared.
If you are willing to do the thing you are afraid to do, you often do not have to. Face the situation fearlessly and watch it dissipate.
Most things we worry about never actually happen. So worrying is an unproductive emotion that drains our energy and creative forces. Sometimes we just need to find humor in our fears.
The longer we stay in an unfulfilling and unchallenging situation, the more resigned we become—and the more we risk losing our individuality, unique gifts and edge.”
It’s essential to catch ourselves when we feel the urge to stay complacent. While change can involve letting go of things that are familiar, the cost of settling in an unfulfilling situation may greater than we originally think. So, while uncertainty might not feel good at the moment—get comfortable—it can open our eyes to things we wouldn’t normally see and may turn out to be a blessing in disguise.
The void is a place you go into when you’re “in between.” It could be you’re in between jobs, in between relationships or you’ve just had a child leave home and you’re wondering what to do next. It’s a state of being when you let go of old things and prepare to move into the next level of growth. In the void you leave behind familiar patterns, habits, thoughts and actions. Think of a butterfly in a cocoon. The cocoon is the void. Just as a caterpillar enters the cocoon to be transformed into a butterfly, you go into a void to prepare yourself for your next level of transformation. You are preparing to fly high.
The void is a time when you’re shedding something that no longer fits the person you are becoming. It can be quite uncomfortable unless you learn to accept it as a natural and essential state. It’s a time of transition and may feel like all of your foundations are falling away, leaving you nothing solid to cling to. In other words, you know what the “no” is (what you’re leaving), but you don’t yet know what the “yes” is (what you’re moving to). The tough part is that the new is not quite here, but the old has not completely left.
This place of uncertainty, of not knowing—can be disconcerting, especially for those of us who like to plot and plan our life. It may feel like a time of not-doing or emptiness. Yet, it is meant to be a time to stop knowing in your usual way, so that you can begin to learn things in a new way. You may even feel that things are falling apart or that things that used to come easy to you, are no longer working. This is because you are meant to move on.
The void is a time when you:
are expanding beyond your old habits and patterns
learn to think in new ways
replace things that are no longer working for you, with things that do
The following is an analogy I shared in my book, Professional Destiny…
“Imagine Tarzan swinging from vine to vine in the jungle. He can’t move forward on a new vine, without letting go of the vine he was on. If he holds on to the old vine and doesn’t grab the new one, he’ll go backward. If he tries to hold both vines, he’ll get stuck. He must let go of the old vine and grab the new one to ride forward to his destination.”
The void is that exact moment when you let go of the old vine and reach out to grab the new. You leave a place of security to venture into the unknown. The secret is to embrace this transitional time. It’s an opportunity to rest up, recharge and explore an expanded range of choices. Don’t worry if the new direction hasn’t quite shown up yet. Your job is to be open to all of the new possibilities so that you can recognize the best one ahead of you.
Our time in the void can last for hours, days, months or even years. Since all people go into a void at some point in their lives, and many of us experience it multiple times, how do we make the best of our experience there? Enjoy it! Just like the cocoon is to the butterfly, the void is a natural and essential state for your transition. It’s necessary to experience it to shake up your familiar structure in order to free you to think and act differently. You’ll move through it faster if you don’t resist. Rather than focusing on how uncomfortable you are, accept the unfamiliar and focus on the new opportunities that are open to you. You may not see the end-game at this point, but take the first step and the next steps will come. When you reach the turning point, circumstances will start appearing that are better and more satisfying than what you experienced in the past.
If all else fails, change your vocabulary. Instead of thinking of this time as a “void,” think of it as a “vacation.” You might as well enjoy it, because—like it or not—you’re going to be in it! Embrace it as your time to leave behind the old, prepare for the possibilities ahead of you and emerge fully ready to experience the new.
People with high levels of mastery…
cannot afford to choose between reason and intuition,
or head and heart, any more than they would choose
to walk on one leg or see with one eye.
—Peter Senge
When it comes to pursuing our Professional Destiny, many of us learn at a young age to tune out our intuition and choose the safe and secure route. In other words, we make a decision from the head, not the heart. But, does this path ultimately bring us success and fulfillment? Chances are—an overwhelming “no!” A choice made purely from the head is a choice that saps our creativity and motivation. We operate on autopilot and are simply not our best. On the other hand, a choice made from both the head AND heart is a choice that inspires and energizes us—and leads us to great breakthroughs. The following is an excerpt from Professional Destiny about the struggle between head vs. heart and the ultimate power of combining the two:
“The duel between reason and intuition, or head and heart, is a constant and powerful force in our lives.
Head—also known as our mind. It is the home of our rational thought and logic. Our drive for survival.
Heart—also known as the soul, spirit or essence. It is the home of our intuition (some also call it our “gut”). It is the home of our higher self and represents who we really are at the core.
HEAD VS. HEART
Head
Heart
Voice of reason
Rationality
Logic
Survival
Experience
Persona/Personality
Achieving stature and safety in life serves to satisfy and comfort the mind. At some point, if we are committed to a path of purpose, we will experience an insurgency of the soul—an insistent demand that we live more consciously and meaningfully. Our job is to stay focused on this deeper message, so that we can call it forth reliably and use its guidance to steer ourselves in a more satisfying direction.
The moment we stop learning is the moment we begin to stagnate. We go to sleep and our life becomes empty with an unsettling combination of anxiety and boredom.
Once you start on your journey and follow your deepest yearning, you won’t be able to turn back and keep it quiet. Human beings are born learning and growing. Even if you keep yourself so busy and pretend not to hear it, you will feel a deep sense of dissatisfaction and experience disenchantment with your life. Your inner voice will always be there, even if buried, waiting for you to listen.”
We are given the gifts of rationality (head) and intuition (heart). The former helps us with survival in the physical world we live in, the latter allows us to have breakthroughs that are genuine, unique and fresh. In terms of discovering your Professional Destiny, finding harmony in the combination of head and heart is the most powerful mix.
Professional Destiny® is about finding the career you were born for. I've created this site to help you in your pursuit. Here, you'll find excerpts from my book, as well as new ideas and stories to help you make the most of your natural gifts. We're a community, so please join the conversation!
Professional Destiny is ranked in the TOP 10 bestselling business and self-improvement books at BookPeople - the largest independent bookstore in Texas!
A ship in harbour is safe,
People with high levels of mastery…
edition
