When Enough is Enough—How to Make Frugality Work for You
June 2, 2010
This post is inspired by Dan Karslake, my friend and documentary filmmaker who I visited during last week’s trip to New York. Dan is following his Professional Destiny. He is making a film called Every Three Seconds about ending world hunger. And during an interview I had with him he explained:
“There are two kinds of hunger—the hunger for food and the hunger for more. This film is really about us—it’s about me—and our own lack of relationship with enough. I’ve been taught to look past what I have to what I don’t have. I have a car but I’m always noticing the car I’d rather have. I have 12 shirts, but I’m always noticing the 13th shirt that I want to buy. We have no relationship with enough. We are about what we don’t have.”
How does this concept relate to your Professional Destiny?
Having enough financially enables us to be less distracted. If we are constantly struggling to make ends meet, we have less time, money and resources to help others and we might not get the luxury of pursuing our Professional Destiny right away. We often ignore our yearnings and choose practicality instead.
Yet, as I’ve written in my book:
“A trap that we are all susceptible to, especially in the Western world, is that we overlook the concept of having enough. We come to never fully enjoy what we have because we are always thinking about what we don’t yet have (a nicer home or car, more possessions, a bigger company, more money, finer art). This sense of wanting more is an insatiable hunger. It is poison to our soul and kills new, creative possibilities because it locks us into a pattern. It might make our life more comfortable but it doesn’t bring us true fulfillment, which only comes when we feel like we are making a difference in a genuine, meaningful way.
You can be financially successful, a respected leader in your profession, be admired for your status, have beautiful possessions and a lovely family—but still feel a nagging sense of emptiness.
I find that most people who have made it in their career and have achieved success have just about everything they want materially, but do not feel fulfilled. They want to venture out and make a difference, but are immobilized by fear and the need to have a familiar sense of security, stability and enough…
Security often means that they do not take risks or allow themselves to be open to new possibilities. Many have lost the concept of having ‘enough’ and cannot accept the idea of making less money for a while, even if it makes them happier. They cannot escape the money trap and therefore are not free. Because of the overwhelming need for survival, even beyond the point of enough, we ignore our deepest yearnings and continue in a job that is not fulfilling—or even worse, a job that is sapping our lifeblood and essence. We think we are making a living, but in reality our spirit is slowly dying.”
So recognize when enough is enough and get a grip on that insatiable hunger for more—you just may be surprised to discover a whole new richness in your life.
Filed under: Doing What You Love,Job vs. Career vs. Life's Work,Personal Finance
11 Comments Leave a Comment
1. Shelley Seale | June 2, 2010 at 9:26 am
Love this, Valerie. I am going to share this, and the Every Three Seconds film, on my blog. Great work!
2. Bruce Eric Anderson | June 2, 2010 at 11:54 am
Great post, Valerie! I think many people, including myself, struggle with viewing contentment as a weakness versus something to aspire to — to be happy with where we are, with what we possess, with our relationships. I try to view it not as a weakness but a state of mind that transcends my career, my entire life on the planet earth. I’ll look into the film, thanks for making me aware of it.
All the best.
@bruceeric
3. Valerie Hausladen | June 2, 2010 at 12:36 pm
Thanks Shelley, this concept is right up your alley. It’s awesome you’re spreading the word!
4. Valerie Hausladen | June 2, 2010 at 12:40 pm
@bruceeric: Great observation and so true. We are absolutely trained to view contentment as a weakness–when you think about it, it’s quite odd!
5. Jim Miller | June 2, 2010 at 8:26 pm
Excellent post, you are so right…making this shift is important and healthy. It is counter intutitive to how we have be taught and conditioned to be the BEST and not to be content.
6. Ruthann | June 3, 2010 at 8:09 am
Good post. It’s about perception and getting rid of that Western attutide of fillign that hole with in us.
However, when you are not able to pay for healthcare and paying your bills is still a struggle, (and I do appreciate this writing and the necessity of gratitude), I hope that someday I will have the basics of life so that enough WILL indeed be enough and I can give more than my time once again.
7. Valerie Hausladen | June 3, 2010 at 9:40 am
@Ruthann: Totally hear you. In the book I talk about Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. You have to first meet the basic physical needs of survival before you can really focus on the need for self-actualization.The post is written to encourage people to take a look and see where they really are on this scale. Too many people (not all of course!) have met the basic need for survival and are caught up in the hunger for more. Maybe not you at this particular point in time, but keep it in mind for when things pick up!
8. Paula Hannasch | June 3, 2010 at 9:57 am
Valerie, excellent article! Being content with what we have while learning to allow ourselves to dream and reach higher to be more and to do more is something to really be aware of in this life. It’s not about the ‘stuff’. I learned early on that it’s the ‘outside’ that is meant to serve the ‘inside’. In our western society you are right we have really gotten that turned around; we tend to focus on the ‘outside’ so busy trying to take care of that, in the meantime our soul is crying out for nurturing, relationships, a greater challenge in reaching for something beyond our everyday (I think we all this our ‘dreams’ lol). Thank you for sharing; great article. I was inspired!
9. Sharel Ann | June 8, 2010 at 11:24 am
Valerie,
I knew you were out there…somewhere! Thanks for the expose and the insight!
10. Barb Drenth | June 18, 2010 at 10:52 am
This summarizes so well what I have learned. Outstanding!
11. Daniel Karslake | Duke in&hellip | November 9, 2011 at 12:17 pm
[...] @dogooderdan. Read articles about Mr. Karslake from Duke Magazine, The Huffington Post, and Professional Destiny. Also watch interviews with him on his two films here and [...]
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