Why Gratitude is Good For You

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I thought I’d celebrate with a different type of blog post. It’s about being grateful. I discovered many years ago that being grateful is a magical force. It’s a gift to the person you’re grateful to and it has the unexpected benefit of being a huge gift to YOU!

If you think about it, it’s impossible to feel lousy and grateful at the same time! If you want to come out of a negative space—if you are feeling drained, or you’ve been in an upsetting situation—you can quickly change your outlook and how the rest of the day unfolds by thinking of all the wonderful things in your life (down to the tiniest detail) and saying thanks. Get serious about it and see for yourself if it isn’t true. Spend the first few minutes of your day giving thanks for the nice things that happened (a sincere smile in the grocery store, an unexpected surprise or a thoughful gesture) and see how your mood and outlook changes. And when they change, you’re ready to take on remarkable things.

As I mention in my book, Professional Destiny, your head is the home of rational thought and logic. Your heart is the home of intuition and your true essence. Both are essential, but in the day-to-day grind, it’s often easier to stay in your head. Gratitude and thanks are a path straight to your heart. They take you out of the mentality of right and wrong, good and bad, and an unsatisfying place of judgment. They put you in a more positive space and magnetize you to the great things in life—the things you want.  When you give thanks, you attract more.

So as you prepare to celebrate on this day of Thanksgiving—spend an extra few moments to recognize even the smallest blessings—and see how good you feel.

Leave a Comment November 26, 2009

Putting Some Momentum Behind Your Dream

The journey into doing what you love is not all airy-fairy. The beginning can be downright tough. It takes strength, discipline and an unwavering commitment. At times, it even can feel like you’re pushing a massive boulder. In the beginning you need to clearly set your vision and become focused intensely on self-awareness: taking stock of your strengths, your interests, what you are good at and what you are not. You commit to being authentic with yourself, knowing yourself so completely that you become immune to self-deception. Then you get to the hard work…

The following is an excerpt from Professional Destiny…

“Imagine a large boulder sitting right in front of you and you need to move it to get started with your business and on your path.

In the first stage, the formulation stage, you define your vision and become self-aware saying, ‘This is who I am, this is where I am going and this is what I’m about.’ You begin the creation process.

In the second stage, the concentration stage, you need to give a concentrated amount of energy to make it happen. It is a time to prove to the Universe that you are committed and that you mean what you say. It is about discipline. If you say you are going to make ten calls today, you make ten calls. When you don’t feel like it, make the next one. You show confidence—you tell the world ‘watch out, I’m coming, don’t mess with me. I am absolutely the right person to make this happen.’

The concentration stage is no fun. It is when you start pushing the boulder and there is inertia—total resistance—at first. It hasn’t moved for a long time, but you need to push it, drive it and not give up. You may feel like you are fighting the Universe because you put a lot more energy out than you get back. You’re working hard, yet there are not a lot of results. It takes grit, determination, strength of will and persistence. You don’t see much progress in the beginning, but you keep your shoulder to the boulder and keep pushing. You refuse to become a victim and insist ‘I will make this happen. I’ve got the power. I can do it.’ Eventually the boulder will budge and begin to move. Slowly at first. But keep pushing, concentrate on pushing.

In the third stage, the momentum stage, the boulder gradually begins to move a little easier. It generates momentum and begins to take on a life of its own. Things start happening and you begin seeing the fruits of your labor. At this point the boulder moves without much effort. The forward movement is exciting and motivating. You experience the beginnings of success. The secret to continued success, however, is to keep pushing—calling, networking and managing so that the boulder doesn’t slow down and force you to overcome inertia again.”

Moving a boulder takes equal amounts of vision and discipline. Your vision must be strong enough to inspire you when the going gets tough. And you must have discipline to overcome the obstacles on your path. The moral of this story is that when you feel like there’s a massive boulder in your way – the only way to gain momentum is to power through.

1 Comment November 19, 2009

Why Most Corporations Homogenize Remarkable People, Part 3: Empowerment vs. Marginalization

In earlier posts, I’ve written about the unfortunate problem of homogenization in the workplace when corporations fail to recognize the natural gifts of their employees, or try to round out their “spiky” skills. Now, it’s time to tackle another favorite subject – empowerment (or lack thereof!). As I’ve said before, homogenization is good for milk, but not for people. It’s a killer to creativity and a person’s ability to produce remarkable results. And it doesn’t help the company much either.

“Never neglect details.  When everyone’s mind is dulled or distracted the leader must be doubly vigilant. Strategy equals execution. All the great ideas and visions in the world are worthless if they can’t be implemented rapidly and efficiently. Good leaders delegate and empower others liberally, but they pay attention to details, every day… Good leaders understand something else: an obsessive routine in carrying out the details begets conformity and complacency, which in turn dulls everyone’s mind. That is why even as they pay attention to details, they continually encourage people to challenge the process.” – Colin Powell, excerpt from 18 Principles of Leadership.

Have you ever been hired into a position because of your ability to think strategically, your remarkable leadership skills and/or your repeated prior success in a similar role, only to have the rug pulled out from under you six months down the road? That’s when you hear the dreaded words “this is the way it’s done, your role is to just execute.”  Ughhh.  If you’re anything like me, this is an instant energy and enthusiasm sapper. I shut down. I lose my desire to go above and beyond. Whatever insight, or creative approach to solving a problem I have, instantly retreats. I become less motivated, and my mind and contribution are dulled. I’ve often joked that if I’m not empowered I quickly eject myself, or get ejected, from a company. There’s no faking it… it just doesn’t work. Perhaps I’m extreme, but I’ve seen it happen all too often in the sea of cubicles around me. Another name for this is marginalization and its definition is “to relegate to an unimportant or powerless position.” I’m sure you’ll agree, this is not what we aspire to be. It’s not very motivating. And unmotivated employees do not produce the best results.

I know many articles have been written on this subject, but in the name of simplicity, I’ll reduce it to two fundamental ideas: 

• Empowerment invites people to step up—and keeps them sharp.
• Homogenization or marginalization sucks the creativity and commitment right out of people—and keeps them dull.

An organization of people primed to give their best is an organization that maintains a competitive edge and stands above the rest. Best of all, people want to work there. A great leader will strive to keep people sharp and will focus on three things:

1. Let people make their own decisions within their area of responsibility. Be generous unless a specific experience with the person indicates otherwise.
2. Give them the ability to affect change.
3. Allow people to gain the knowledge, skill sets and training to thrive and grow professionally.

The moment a capable person loses the ability to make a decision related to their area of responsibility and experience, they begin to disengage and their contribution becomes less. Yet, the opportunity to exercise personal discretion and complete meaningful work keeps employees engaged. When employees are engaged, great things can happen. You get the best of their minds and they work harder because they are motivated. Breakthroughs occur. It also makes them more resilient to setbacks.

If you hire a capable person, let them stay capable. Bring out the best in them, don’t shut them down. Remember empowerment increases people’s skills and contribution—homogenization shrinks them.

9 Comments November 11, 2009

Eliminate the Naysayers

When you’re in the midst of change, or venturing into unknown territory, it can be a fragile time—you’re in transition. I call this the incubational stage and it can take a little time to build yourself up. At this stage, you’re at a crucial, sometimes vulnerable, point and it’s important to surround yourself with people who support your vision. Think of yourself as a little seedling that has just sprouted—you’re full of potential, but still fragile, so you need to protect yourself from being trampled before you’re fully established. The best way to do this is to surround yourself with support and avoid the naysayers!

Naysayers can be people close to you. As I write in Professional Destiny, “There are people who support you and help you to feel empowered, positive and on the right track. When you are with them you feel supported and energized. Then there are people who operate from a negative space, the naysayers, the ones who bring you down. You’ll know them by the feeling you have when you are with them—you feel deflated, like the wind was just taken out of your sails. You feel drained when you are around them. Try to clearly identify the people who have your highest good in mind and surround yourself with them.”

Naysayers can also be business contacts. A friend of mine told me, “I was disheartened when I first moved to Austin. Everyone said Austin was harder to make it as an independent contractor than Dallas. I was more expensive. For almost a year I had to say ‘no, no and no’ to lowball compensations offers. It was almost a year, before I said yes. People didn’t value my service and didn’t want to pay me what I’m worth. An advisor asked me ‘why do you even stay when this happens? Get up and leave. I wouldn’t have the success I have today, if I stuck around with the naysayers.’ So, I chose to love myself and value my work, and leave. Now it has paid off.”

It’s hard enough staying on top of the fear, uncertainty and doubt that takes root in our own minds, so we certainly don’t need anyone else feeding it. When you’re fostering an idea, it’s such an incubational time that it’s critically important to block out the naysayers. If you allow the naysayers in, every time you listen to what they’re saying, you hand your power over and dishonor your gift. And, if you’re going to dishonor your gift, the question is do you really want to do what you love? To do what you love, you have to put your big girl (or big boy) pants on and honor your potential. This also means clearing the negative voices in your head, listening to your heart and marrying the two. In my book, I call this the “Killer Combo.”  When you’re listening to your head AND your heart, you’re functioning as a more powerful force – you become so strong you deflect the naysayers and the negativity. Then you’re freed up to accomplish great things. Your heart gives your head the signal and you’re clear enough to do what you really love.

5 Comments November 3, 2009